First Dates

six: wwe

        "Dude, turn your goddamn phone off." Wyatt pauses the phone, removing his phone from his pocket, and leaning further back in his seat as Robbo is one nosy bastard and keeps trying to make inconspicuous glances at the screen. "Who is it?" He demands, as though he's entitled to read through the messages himself.

        "Tiffany." And Connie. But Wyatt doesn't say that because although there's nothing going on between him and the girl with green hair, he doesn't really feel like listening to Robbo detail the things he'd do to her, if he ever got the chance, although that opportunity would never arise when his hair resembles a five year old jewish child. "She's coming here."

        Robbo perks up considerably at that, even though he's supposed to have a girlfriend who does a "fucking good job at keeping the bed warm, if you know what I mean?", but his relationship status doesn't stop Robbo from going after what he wants, and he'd like to have Tiffany, and Wyatt can only hope his sister isn't that much of an idiot to even think of going there with one of his friends.

        Connie's text is just as obtrusive, rude and abrupt as she is in person, nothing more than: four o'clock. my house. don't fuck this one up, schmidt.

        He's certain that she's cold blooded, he's never seen her smile or even laugh at something genuinely funny other than at his expense, although he's never returned the favour because she's the kind of person you kind of hate instantly but you'd still talk to for entertainment value.

 

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        Tiffany arrives standing beside Robbo's latest girlfriend, who looks exactly like the youngest Schmidt family member. Her eyes narrow instantly once she steps inside Robbo's apartment, lip curling in disgust as the girlfriend literally attacks Robbo in a kiss saved for an over eighteen audience, and if Tiffany wasn't on the other side of the room, then Wyatt would cover her eyes.

        "Loser, I need you to take me somewhere." Her face is heavy with unmasked jealousy, the longer she watches the couple go at it, attacking each other's lips and the girlfriend letting out wanton moans from simply a kiss. "I got back together with Jay, he's taking me out tonight."

        "Shopping?" Wyatt asks warily, not knowing how much longer he can withstand the bright lights of clothing stores with unrealistic pictures of models which do nothing for customers self esteem when the clothes just don't fit quite like how that do on that girl with the thigh gap. He's almost tempted to say no, that Tiffany can most definitely ask one of the piranhas to follow her around the shopping mall for hours on end, but when her lips downturn as Robbo hugs his girlfriend closer to her, stroking her face as they take a break from kissing and not even paying a glance in her direction, he feels a little bit guilty. Wyatt almost wishes that he chose to have some boring as fuck friends who wouldn't influence Tiffany at all, well there is Seth but that's not important right now. "Alright, lets go right now."

        "Now?" Tiffany splutters, dark eyebrows rising, "I-um, yeah okay. I'm waiting outside." With a final dirty look at Robbo, which turns out to be the last time she's even in Robbo's company, she turns and flounces out of the room, with a new purpose. Wyatt leaves fairly easily, with Robbo way too engrossed in his girlfriend to pay any mind to his surroundings.

        "How many times do I have to tell you that your friends are disgusting?" Tiffany demands hotly, in the passenger seat of Wyatt's car, where she's scouring through his CD collection yet again. Wyatt doesn't dignify her with an answer, already having heard the rant too many times to count that he can almost repeat it back to her if he was feeling up to it. Tiffany has always been invested in males, but never to the point where she's gotten jealous about unrequited feelings, especially over someone as sleazy as Robbo. "I mean, goddamn it, Wyatt, I thought you would have learnt when they all fucked you over when Lily came onto the picture. I think if you actually went to college you would have met some decent guys instead of losers who spend most of their time online."