Kyber Heart - Poe Dameron

Chapter 25

"Yeah, you know what I want," she muttered. She stood, fists clenched, and left without another word.

The coldness of the corridors was a feeling she welcomed; the mess hall having been rather crowded and stuffy with a strong smell of alcohol. A soft thud sounded with each step she took, picking up in pace until she was nearly running. Her mind was blank as she went first to her room, then outside to the tarmac. All she could feel was a numb sort of anger.

A cool breeze was blowing across the planet, brushing her hair back from her face as she climbed the hill. There she stood, looking out across the base on one side, the forest on the other.

In her hands were the broken halves of her lightsaber, cold and lifeless. She turned them over without looking at them, fingers caressing the familiar metal and jagged edges from the break. Weighing them as she weighed her options once more, reconsidering the offer to leave and find Luke.

Deep down, she knew there was no choice to be made. She knew leaving was only a fantasy, and not a pleasant one at that. The Resistance, her home of sorts, was where she was needed and where she could do something.

She could not let her personal feelings for Poe cloud her judgement. He was not to blame for caring for her, despite her best efforts to prevent what now seemed to be the inevitable. Her anger towards him passed like a shadow.

She released a deep breath through her nose, casting her gaze towards the forest once more. Then, with as much force and precision as she could manage, launched the two halves of her ancient weapon into the trees, there to be consumed by nature.

---

Her surroundings were unfamiliar. Vast and dark, she felt tiny within them. Lost in the shadows. A cold wind was blowing in from outside, though no light followed it. No stars or moons were shining.

Her clothes were thick and black, clinging to her in the cold beneath a matching black cloak that reached the backs of her knees. Her hood was down and heavy on her shoulders. Her hair was caught in the breeze, dancing around her face, where she could feel a scar was carved.

Her gaze was locked on her hands; gloved and holding a familiar weapon. The lightsaber felt heavier than she remembered it having felt before, and darker. No longer the sacred weapon of a noble warrior, but the desecrated tool of a villain.

Another familiar hand rested atop it. One withered with time and a life well lived. It was reaching for her, calling her home.

But it was already too late.

She both felt and heard her scream as the blade extended against her will. It pierced the chest of the man that stood before her – the man she knew without a doubt to be her father. There was no doubt as to what she was being forced to bear witness to in her nightmares. Her guilt rising to torment her, heart, soul and mind.

She was forced to meet his eye; see the pain and shock painted in his features. He reached for her face, and she flinched at the touch, soft and caring in the cold and dark.

She could not look away as he fell from the bridge. Down, down, down to the core of the planet – though he would be long dead before impact. That at least was a comfort.

But he was gone. Forever.

---

Nova sat up sharply, throat dry and cheeks damp with tears. She could only guess that any sound had escaped her throat. Her knuckles were white as she gripped the bed sheets, trying to catch her breath and stop her heart from hammering out of her chest.

Poe was by her side in an instant, wrapping his arms around her like he had done only a few hours prior. This time, his hold was softer, gathering her back to his chest to comfort and calm her.

"You're alright. You're alright," he assured her softly.

She gasped, desperately trying to fill her lungs with oxygen. "I couldn't stop it. I couldn't..."

"I know," he muttered, hugging her tighter. "But it wasn't your fault. You hear me, Nova? It wasn't your fault."

She nodded, leaning further into him for comfort, safety. "I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier. I didn't mean –"

"Hey, hey, it's okay. The last few days have been hell, I'm not gonna hold it against you."

She sighed, feeling herself start to relax. Her eyes and mind were still heavy as she longed to return to sleep, in spite of the nightmares. Poe was right. The last few days had been hell – she had barely noticed the last time she had gotten any sort of rest had been aboard the Finalizer.

She frowned, glancing around the dark room – not her own. She could not recall having entered it, or falling asleep in the first place. "How did I get here?"

"I carried you," was the only explanation Poe provided. He could feel her start to slump against him, her fatigue catching up to her. "Go back to sleep. You deserve the rest."

Nova caught his wrist before he could leave her side. "Stay with me," she whispered. "Please."

He complied without hesitation, abandoning the makeshift bed he had set up for himself on his floor. He slid in next to her easily – sharing a bed or confined space was a circumstance they were not strangers to.

With one arm around Nova's shoulders, he let her curl into his side, her head falling to rest against him. She fell asleep soon enough, breathing steady and face somewhat peaceful.

He planted a gentle kiss to her temple with a sigh, succumbing to sleep himself. As his eyes closed, he murmured three words to her that he doubted she would hear. But that did not matter to him; it was not the point.

"I love you."