10:30 pm
Location: the fridge
Shelf: number five
Tomato's perspective:
I didn't belong here, i thought. Not here, not ever... this is where the out-of-dates go to die.
Milk, vegetables, cheese and meat, all of them I cannot stand, I'd rather be tomato soup than be here. I wanted to kObE myself out of that place ASAP but unfortunately a puny bottle of ketchup like me did not have the power to do so.
'Well feck me'
I heard this whilst pondering the ripeness of my sauce.
'Someone better bloody take me out sometime, from this shithole of a fridge,' said the voice again.
I turned my ThIcC bottle to the left and saw a jar. But not any jar of jam or mint sauce.
It was mayonnaise.
'Oh no,' I thought, 'this is what I feared.'
The eggy mess of a sauce stared at me maliciously.
'What you staring at you bitter betch, you better fecking hope the fam has chicken and chips for their lunch because otherwise you will be here for a very long time,' she exclaimed in her heavy Scottish accent.
'FIGHT ME,' she shouted even louder this time... 'FOR CHIP PRIVILEGES.'
I was shocked beyond belief,
I was practically weeing my wet tomato juice out.
At this point I knew I was fucked.
