If's and maybe's//WooJoon {oneshot}

-

Maybe.

Maybe if things were different...

Maybe if he wasn't famous...

Maybe if there wasn't seven years between them...

Maybe if they weren't both men.

Hajoon wanted to live in the now, to focus on nothing but the soft lips against his. To wonder over nothing but how sweet Woosung's lips were; tasting of honey and vanilla.

If only this didn't have to end.

If only they could go on touching and tasting and feeling then it would be perfect.

He forced those thoughts away to linger in the back of his mind and instead pressed harder onto Woosung's mouth, he felt the others tongue give a kitten lick to his bottom lip to ask for permission to deepen the kiss. Hajoon offered no resistance and soon their tongues were intertwined.

It felt like they were attempting to tie a bow with their tongues. A sloppy, lust filled bow.

They parted for breath, Woosung pressing his forehead against the younger's. The singer's white hair a little matted with strands stuck to his forehead.

The boy's eyes were fixed on his lips, now swollen and pink, scared to meet Woosung's eyes because if, only if, he did and they reflected what he was feeling inside... then maybe, maybe he wouldn't be able to leave.

It felt weird to say he'd been in love with Woosung for a year since they'd never met but there isn't really any other way to put it. He'd been in love with this man for quite a while and any uncertainty he'd held in that fact had diminished once they'd met in real life. It was by chance, at a bar somewhere on the outskirts of Busan. How Woosung had managed to escape both the paparazzi and screaming fangirls remained a mystery. They'd chatted a little, drank a little before parting ways: both with a new contact saved in their phone. That had happened maybe two months prior and it was safe to say that Hajoon, for one, was deep in his feelings: the early morning Skype calls were the best; Woosung with messy hair and a croaky morning voice? it was a big yes from him.

Apparently, the feelings had been somewhat mutual as they had found out earlier that evening between trashy movies and trashier food. Woosung had quietly whispered "I think I love you" into Hajoon's hair - he wasn't sure whether or not he was actually meant to hear but he'd whispered a me too back to him.

And they'd kissed. And kissed. And kissed. And it was perfect, the two of them together - away from the world for now - relishing in each others presence.

Maybe he should leave.

If he leaves then maybe they can carry on like before and not get tangled in a mess of feelings and scandals. Maybe it would've been better if they'd never met in the first place.

"Stay with me?" The older whispered - it was as if he knew what he was thinking -  gazing into Hajoon's eyes even if he wouldn't look back.

"Wh-"

"Not like that! No funny business I promise. It just... gets lonely sometimes." the younger finally met his eyes and both their faces softened into smiles.

Maybe it wasn't a good idea. If he left now would that be a better choice?

"Okay." Woosung visibly relaxed and gave one last peck to the others' nose before untangling their limbs.

"Thank you, do you want to borrow some of my stuff to sleep in?" Hajoon nodded and sank a little further into the sofa. He really had a good choice in furniture. Like really, Hajoon didn't want to get up - what would life be like if he lived on Woosung's sofa for the rest of it? Probably great. Maybe he could even get Woosung to feed him strawberries... Maybe he should stop thinking about something that really shouldn't happen.

"Do you want to get changed in the bathroom?" speak of the devil. He nodded and took the hoodie and joggers offered before going to the bathroom.

He came back out with a new found love for sweater paws. Or maybe big hoodies. Probably the sweater paws made by Woosung's oversized hoodies. He had a creeping suspicion the boy had chosen this specific one on purpose.

The older looked up from his phone when he entered and patted the bed beside him.

Maybe... it wouldn't be so bad if they were to be together, being cuddled like this made him feel secure and at peace, the others steady heartbeat; the rise and fall of his chest was comforting and Hajoon never wanted to leave.

The dawn came too quickly - why couldn't the sun just stay down? That way they'd never have to move and he'd never have to leave.

They'd woken up no longer in a tangle of limbs but had spread apart, joined only at the hand with the white haired gripping the younger's fingers like his life depended on it.

Even as Hajoon was getting up, something inside him yearned to climb back into the olders' bed and never leave. Though, with the world being what it is, he quickly changed back into his clothes from the day before.

He'd never admit it but honestly, a part of him wanted Woosung to wake up, tell him to stay; embrace him and tell him that he loved him; that he didn't need to worry about other people because - as long as they were happy - other people didn't matter (or "fuck everyone else we have each other ammirite?" is closer to what he really would've said). But no, he stayed asleep right up until Hajoon was walking out the door.

"Where are you going?" He asked this even when he knew the answer, wanted to lie to himself that once Hajoon left through that door, he'd come back and say that he couldn't leave, not without a promise to become more: more than friends.

He wasn't an idiot, Woosung had seen the hesitation in Hajoon's eyes the night before and saw the thoughts inside his head; he'd really never been good at hiding things.

"Please don't go." The desperation in his voice was clear. Both of them knew. If the younger walked out that door, after that nothing could make him cross the border between friends and lovers.

"Maybe... maybe if things were different." with that, he was gone.

-

Okay I'm sorry this is trash and really inconsistent but I like the concept but yeah thank you for reading! 💕💕💕