Chapter 1: after she said goodbye (ue)

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by aventris

by aventris

"People go but how they left always stays." - r.k.

Chapter 1

I put down the letter that I've been reading for what seemed like a million times.

I sighed. It's been weeks since Bella left.

But the pain of waking up with an empty side of the bed still lingers.

I know I don't have the right to feel this way because let's face it.

I am the reason why our family fell apart. I am the reason why Luke cries at night asking for his mother. I am the reason why she left.

All I can do is wallow up in self pity, hoping the private investigators I hired will track her but so far it's been weeks and there was still no clue as to where she went.

She thought she made us happy by leaving but in fact it didn't.

I thought it's what I wanted but now that she's gone, I can't seem to fathom why I even thought it's what I wanted in the first place.

We were happy with her around.

We just took her presence for granted.

I thought I didn't love her anymore.

But I still do, I just thought, well I don't even know why I did the things I did.

Well I guess you know what they say you'll only know how much a person means to you, only when they're already gone.

I don't really blame her for leaving.

If I were in her shoes, I would have left the minute I knew about the the so called third party.

And even now when I don't blame her for leaving, because that's what she thought of how to make us— her husband and her son, happy it doesn't mean it would hurt less.

Because it does, it hurt so fcking much, you really don't know what you have until it's gone.

Until it's gone unexpectedly.
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I'm not satisfied of this but for now that's all I can give. ):

but anywaaaaay this is still unedited sooooooo yesssss.

And OH wow. Thank you guys! I am speechless. Just Wow. Thank you. I love you all! Thank you for reading this story and "Before We Say Goodbye". My heart is full. Thank you. I cannot wait to finish this and leave you guys even more frustrated. ;)

Sorry for the vvv late upload, I've been mia for years (?) but a little update: I'm currently in college, taking up Nursing. Where every week is a break down week. I thought life was hard but Nursing school is harderer. I can't. Anyways, thank yooou guys!!! I love you all. I swear.

I'll update whenever I can. I promise.

Until then!

lots of love, Aventris.