Search for the Soul Gem

Chapter Fifty-Nine

      "Can I help you?" I asked, slightly annoyed. He glanced over at me, arms crossed. 

     "Nothing, I saw you sulking up this corner and decided to come ruin your pity party," he shrugged. Anger flared up in my chest. 

     "Excuse me?" I  said, unsure what he could possibly mean. He glanced at me from the corner of his eye. 

     "You heard me. I even said it in English for you," he said. I narrowed my eyes at him, turning to look at him completely. 

     "What the hell is your problem Barnes," I demanded. He turned his head to look at me completely. He leaned in closer to me, obviously asking me to hit him. 

     "LIsten Stark, I understand this has got to be devastating to you, of that I have no doubt. But you conveniently forgot that you do not have the monopoly on pain here. You are not the only one anxious or terrified or heartbroken. You have every right to feel all of those things and more, I'm not saying that. But you do not have the right to seclude yourself in this tortured silence, suffering lonesome thing you've been doing. You forgot others know her too. You are not the only one who loves her," he said. Before I could respond, he stood and walked off. I sat, shocked. I'd been to busy being selfish to really give any thought to how anyone else was feeling. Upon looking around the room, I saw more nervous hand-wringing and tired eyes and worry lines. Form the corner, Peter appeared; his eyes a violent red. Bucky was right, as much as I hated to admit it. I pushed myself off the bench and over to Peter. He looked up at me and quickly rubbed his face. He started to stutter something but I didn't hear it. I pulled him by the shoulders into me. He hesitated a moment before he wrapped his arms around me, a shuttering sob muffled by my chest. 

     "I'm so sorry Mr. Stark! I tried to protect her! I-I couldn't do any-anything at all! It's all-all my-my faul-" he cut himself off with another sob. I held him tighter. I closed my eyes tight against the guilt. How could I have let him feel this and build this in his head? 

     "No Peter, it's absolutely not your fault in any way. You tried your best and you're lucky they didn't kill you. I know Lucy doesn't blame you. And I don't either," I said back, more forcefully than intended to keep him from breaking down with him. His fists balled in my shirt and his entire body was shaking. 

     "I can't lose her too," he muttered, "not another one because of me." I felt my chest completely constrict and my blood ran cold. I didn't know what to say to him to make him feel better. 

     "We will find her Peter. Don't worry," I assured him. He nodded into my shirt but said nothing. "Come on kid, let's get on the jet," I said, pulled back from him. He wiped his face with his sleeve and nodded. He stared at the ground, sniffling as we walked toward the rest of the team that was making their way toward the boarding walkway. We were a slow-moving mass toward the jet that had begun warming up. I hesitated to let Peter pass, squeezing his shoulder as he went by. I glanced back. Shuri stood back in the far doorway and waved her hand frantic in goodbye. I held mine up once before turning away. I stepped up into the jet, the hatch closing behind me. 

     "Are we all here?" T'Challa asked. Okeye was seated at the front of the jet, legs crossed and hands held out in front of her, ready to take off. 

     "Yes," Steve confirmed. I felt a shudder go through the jet as it lifted off. I sat on one of the free seats next to Rhodey. Peter was sitting on the ground in front of me, Natasha and Clint bookending him. Steve, Sam, and Bucky sat across from me, Thor sitting on the ground next to them. T'Challa came to stand at the head of the circle. The compass around my neck hummed but I ignored it. I reached forward to place my hand on Peter's shoulder. No one spoke for a long time as Okeye steered the jet out of the underground hanger.