I need to get away from him. I’ve promised myself so many times before that i would finally get away, and finally, this is my chance. If i don’t go now, maybe i’ll never get the chance to go.
~
For the last few weeks, I have been looking for apartments to stay at in England. It was my mums idea to move away from him, to get as far away as possible from him. I have been struggling for so long to try and keep this relationship going, but it’s never going to work, and i know if i don’t go now, things will only get worse, and i also know that if i tell him that i’m leaving, he’ll never let me go.
I’m originally from England and I plan to move back to where I grew up as a child, London. I have family over there as well, so it’s the perfect place for me to go.
Moving from my friends and my mum in Ireland will be hard, but this is what I need to do.
~
‘Mum you need to come with me!’ I shout
‘No Cara, you need to be strong, you need to get away yourself, don’t worry about me, I will be perfectly fine.’ she says calmly.
I always find myself baffled by how calm my mum can stay, and i’m even more baffled right now. I don’t want to leave her, simply because I will be putting her at risk, I don’t want her to go through the same things I did.
I just stand there and stare and her blankly.
‘Cara, your flight is in three hours, if you don’t know now, you may never leave’.
‘But mum, what if he comes looking for me, what if he hurts you, what if he comes here, looking for me and does the same things to you that he done to me?!’
‘Cara, sweetie, that man will never even get the chance to do to me what he done to you, i will be fine. Anyway, you shouldn’t be worrying about me, worry about yourself’.
She’s right, my step dad is there anyway, and if she needs me or if i need her we’re only a flight away from each other.
I sigh in defeat and lift my bags and carry them to my mums car.
~
The drive to the airport consisted of me crying like a baby, simply because i don’t want to leave my home.
Just before my mum leaves she grabs me and pull sme in tightly for a hug.
‘Happiness will come to you love. I have so much respect for you, you are able to walk away from something that no longer makes you happy, as a matter of fact, never made you happy. You are a strong woman, you are able to walk away from a violent relationship, Cara, you are doing what is best. And please,sweetie, don’t regret it, this is the best thing for you, and remember, I am here for you whenever you need me, i’m only a phone call away. I love you so much.’
Thats when the tears really started coming.
My mum didn’t even give me a chance to respond, she just chased me through the airport.
To be honest, I think that if I did get the chance to respond, she would have cried more than what I possibly could.
