Infinite ★ Steve Rogers [6] ✓

Three

A.N. Karen and Foggy means one thing right? My bby Matty.

There's time jumps in this chapter so be warned.

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I sat in my office and stared at my desk trying to make sense of what I had just been told. I understood why Tom wasn't so cheery when he called earlier. I understood completely now. He obviously saw the state of the people asking for me and connected the dots.

Those very people sat in front of my desk in their own chairs, both with tears in their eyes as they watched me process the news they had just told me of. It wouldn't sink in. My mind ran through every interaction I had with the Matt and the things we bonded over. I treated him and sometimes even saw him as a son even though he was far from mine, like I do with Tony and Peter.

As I thought about it all and about everything leading up to it, I realised one thing.

"It's all my fault." Foggy looked up at me and I could see he was dying to disagree with me. "Don't even say it isn't 'cause it is." I shut him down quickly. I knew what I helped Matt with would bite me in the ass one day, I just didn't fathom it would bite me in this way.

"You can't put it on yourself like that." Karen spoke up, her eyes red from the crying she had been doing.

"I can. Does she know everything?" I asked Foggy. Foggy nodded making me sigh. "Including what I had to do with it?" I asked. Foggy nodded again, his face saying 'sorry' for letting her know about it. I'm glad she knew, it meant I didn't have to tip-toe around Karen about this.

"Then you know I can most definitely put it on myself. You were right, Foggy. I should have turned him away, not got him involved with this life." I put my head in my hands, mad with myself I allowed Matt in and welcome him to this life that he shouldn't have been in. I should have stayed longer when I was over, maybe I could have changed something, anything. "I'm sorry I failed him. I'm sorry I failed you both." I looked at the pair across from me, tears filling my eyes once again. Karen sighed, getting up from her seat and moving to kneel next to me, rubbing my back with her hand.

It was somewhat comforting but It wasn't enough, Matt was gone and it was me who opened the door for him to be Daredevil. I may not have directly had a part in his death but leading up to it I did. I could have turned him down, maybe it would have lead him somewhere different. But that's all it was; maybe's and if's.

According to Jess, Matt gave his life to save the rest of New York along with his 'girlfriend' Elektra. I knew about her and I knew he loved her more than anything. He loved her so much he ended up dying with her.

If only I knew about what was going on, I could have helped. I could have saved them. I could have done something.

God dammit Matt.

-/-

One Month Later

I was carrying a bag of Indian Takeout with George, heading for Fred and Ollie's apartment in order to have a 'curry party' so we could talk about wedding things. I did offer pizza but Indian was better loved within this group of people so we went with Curry instead. I preferred Indian anyway so I had no complaints.

It took me a while to fully understand that Matt was gone. I kept in touch with Karen and Foggy as much as they would let me, both of them ending up crying to me over the phone once and again. Matt would be disappointed if I didn't make sure his closest friends were okay without him. I too lost Matt so I used that to help console them.