My Fool

Chapter 18 - Feelings

Sam's P.O.V (short)
The next day seemed to be way, way sadder.

Colby was talking to me, sure, but he seemed to be short on conversation nonetheless. As if something always cuts him off short. Maybe what happened yesterday hasn't really progressed for him yet.
Maybe he's scared that he's really gonna loose me..

But I knew nothing could make me leave him. I love him. Him, and nobody else.
I'll make sure that he won't doubt it.

I walked downstairs and made myself some breakfast, walking in on Aaron, Corey, Devyn and Colby all eating together.

"Good morning.."

Colby's P.O.V

I kind of regret being the only one who didn't say 'good morning' back at Sam, however... the thing that happened yesterday was everywhere in my mind. I should be thinking that Sam was mistaken by the whole scenario.. but my mind tells me he loves Aaron, not me. Why? Because they've known each other for longer. It wouldn't be surprising.

But it would be painful.

Sam approached the empty seat next to me, and sits down. I want to look into his eyes and kiss him, to confirm to myself he loves me and nobody else. But my eyes remain on the sandwich I was eating.

"Hey Colby.." Sam said carefully. I inhaled. I can't ignore him.
"Hi Sam" I simply said, taking another bite of my sandwich.
"Slept well..?" Sam awkwardly asked. I smiled awkwardly back.

"Yeah, you?" I ask, still not making eye contact. Sam starts eating his own food.
"Not too well.. I was thinking about yesterday—"
"How come?" I quickly interrupt. Now, I was definitely making eye contact. The way I said it also caused the rest of the roommates — especially Aaron — to look at us.

"Huh?" Sam wonders confusingly.
"How come you thought about yesterday?" I ask. Sam blinks, seemingly still puzzled.
"Because the way we left it off feels like it didn't solve anything" Sam admitted. I sighed softly, relieved it wasn't about the date. Everyone returned to their breakfast as well. I kept eating, then answered softly.

"Explain what you mean"

"Well.." Sam starts.
"It feels like you're doubting my love for you" Sam admitted. My eyes widened, and I dropped the sandwich I held.

"Doubt it?" I ask. Sam nodded, truthfully.
"You're being way distant than usual, Colby.. it worries me" Sam admitted. Corey and Devyn walked away from the table, to give us some time alone. Aaron did as well, even though he was a part of yesterday. Sam keeps looking at me, and I sigh as we are all alone.

"The fact you still went out with him without telling me the whole deal.. it hurts, Sam. So much" I explain, glancing at him - eyes deep in hurt. Sam furrows his brows.

"Nothing happened, Colby.. I promise" Sam whispered. I let out a small sarcastic chuckle, and stare down at the table.

"Sam, I wasn't there to witness the date. How would I know for sure?" I say weakly, now returning to take bites of my sandwich. My eyes now averting away from him.

"I would never lie to you. Why would I lie to you, Colby?"
"I don't know. I just know many does" I admitted and looked straight into his eyes. My eyes were filled with pain, and a feeling even I can't explain. Suddenly, as the silence paused and as my eyes and face froze facing Sam - he hugged me to him. Squeezing me tightly and sighs. I would've pushed him away.. but I couldn't.

I love him way too much.

"I wouldn't. Aaron and I are just friends still and I told him the truth. That you and I are together"
I didn't answer straight away, but eventually I gave up and put my sandwich down before hugging him back. My eyes were getting teary eyed, but I couldn't do anything about that. Having been lied my whole life and suddenly believing that the one person I love has lied to me, hurts.