Emily

Chapter Three

"Marriage is the exact opposite of everything I thought it would be. Kit has changed my mind entirely. I thought it would be a trap, that I would be stuck beside an unfaithful husband whom I would grow to hate, that I would be as miserable as my parents were with each other. Now, I know that it is so much more. A real marriage, a good marriage is filled with love and trust. I have faith in the fact that he would never be unfaithful and that I have his entire heart and he has mine. We fight, of course we fight, but we always come back to each other sooner or later. We have a beautiful daughter, too, whom I would not trade for the world. I'm happy, happier than I've ever been before." Cassandra explained, and Emily was hit with a wave of wistfulness that she could not explain.

Emily Carter knew that she was not built for love and romance and all of that. Men simply did not like a woman like her and she had quickly grown used to the fact. She did not need a man to be happy. All she needed was her freedom, and she had already received it.

But, still, whenever she saw love like Cassandra and Kit shared, she felt a little ache in her chest, as if that was something she wanted. Perhaps, in her heart of hearts, that was something she wanted but, she knew, nothing could ever persuade her to give up her hard won independence that had taken so much sacrifice for her to possess.

"You two are perfect for one another." Emily complimented, and Cassandra smiled brightly. Emily hadn't ever seen her any happier than she was now.

Before Cassie could respond, there was a quick rapping on the door before it opened and Ellen walked in, bouncing a giggling Juliette on her hip and talking softly to her. At the sight of her daughter, Cassandra's face split into a large smile and she immediately stood to take her from Ellen, whispering, "Thank you."

"And how have you been, princess?" Cassandra cooed to her daughter in a child's voice, pressing a kiss to Juliette's fair, golden hair before sitting once again. "Did you have a good time with Papa?"

Juliette gurgled, placing a tiny hand on Cassie's cheek and Emily felt herself smile too as she watched them together. Regaining her senses, she looked about the room, and found that Ellen had slipped out unnoticed by both of them.

"Would you like to go to Auntie Emily, love?" Cassandra asked Juliette as she bounced her, eliciting a wide smile from the baby. "You would, wouldn't you?"

"Yes," Emily said in the same baby's voice as Cassandra as she leaned forward and took Juliette into her arms. "Because Auntie Emily is her favourite aunt."

"Don't let Allie hear you say that." Cassandra teased in her normal voice as Emily played with Juliette. "She's determined to have Juliette love her better than even Kit or I no matter what."

"I think Juliette is her Papa's little girl." Emily commented, lightly poking the baby's little nose as she said it, basing her words on all the previous times she'd seen Kit and Juliette together.

"Christopher can't function without knowing what his daughter is up to." Cassandra informed her, watching as Juliette settled into Emily's arms before suddenly letting out a cry and reaching for her Mama, who smiled softly at the baby and took her from Emily again, who didn't mind relinquishing her hold one bit. "For the first month after she was born, he refused to leave the house even to go visit the tenants."

"I think that's sweet." Emily said, smiling lightly. From everything she knew of Kit, it made sense that he was a devoted father.

"It's very sweet." Cassandra agreed. "But it also meant that he was around the house all day to annoy me with his concerns about the smallest of things, like the fact that Juliette was crying. He didn't understand that babies sometimes cry simply because they wish to."

Emily laughed, leaning over to gently poke baby Juliette's cheek, leading her to let out a little giggle that filled Emily's heart with pure warmth. There was nothing like a new life to bring optimism into the world. There were years of stories yet to be told, and that somehow gave Emily a sense of hope. There was something rather beautiful about it, too.

"So," Cassandra said, an unidentifiable glint in her eyes, "Are there any men you have your eye on?"

"There's no man that has caught my fancy." Emily confessed teasingly, "However, there is a certain beautiful lady named Alexandria who has captured my interest and, soon enough, my heart."

Cassandra gaped open-mouthedly, confused. She hadn't gotten Emily's joke and frowned as she appraised her, wondering if she'd missed some sign that had been there all these years.

"Really, Cassie, sometimes you can be incredibly daft." Emily admonished rolling her eyes. "When I said those words, I meant a ship, the Alexandria, the ship that's taking me on my next journey. She really is a gorgeous vessel who I certainly shall be spending quite a lot of time with."

"How was I supposed to garner that?" Cassandra demanded, flushing lightly as she rocked her daughter back and forth in her arms in a failing attempt at getting her to sleep. Juliette, as Emily had since learned, was not a very good sleeper at all and slept while everyone else was awake and cried when everyone else was asleep.

All Emily could do in response was laugh loudly at her friend's embarrassment.

"You know," Cassandra said, once they'd both settled down, "I'm worried about Nate."

"Your brother?" Emily asked, frowning, "Why? He seems better than alright, doesn't he?"

"He's fine, to be sure, but not for long. He needs someone who will always be by his side, someone he can lean on without worrying about being strong for them, as he is with Allie and I. Someone who can love him in the way he craves but hasn't ever gotten. We all need that, I think." Cassandra explained, her tone pointed as she watched Emily, who clearly received her meaning from her tone.

"Not all of us. Romance isn't my cup of tea, Cassie, and you know it well. I've always told you as much." Emily reminded, meeting her dearest friend's gaze fiercely, not willing to compromise when it came to something like this.

"Every time I said that, you would tell me not to be foolish. Don't be a a hypocrite, Em." Cassandra said, her tone admonishing rather than rude or angry.

"That's different." Emily defended herself, "You were filled with the silly fear that your marriage would be an miserable one, even once you'd met your perfect match in Christopher, someone who would never allow you to be unhappy. My fear, on the other hand, is a reality. The last thing I want is to lose my freedom, and a husband would mean exactly that. I've never been happier, lighter and freer than I am when I am travelling. I cannot lose that."

"I didn't mean it in that way." Cassandra said apologetically. "I know how you feel because, although I haven't experienced it myself, I've seen the effects on you. You have never been as joyful as you now are, when you are in charge of your own existence and I'm glad to see you this happy. As you yourself once told me, do whatever makes you happiest."

"What have I ever done to deserve such a friend?" Emily asked rhetorically, squeezing Cassandra's hand. She wanted to hug her, but didn't want to disturb Juliette, who was finally settling down. To lighten the mood, Emily added, "Who knows? Someday I might meet a brave, handsome pirate who'll show me the world with whom I shall have a ceaseless number of adventures."

"And you both shall wind up at the gallows together, and be the subject of many a seafarers' ditties and ballads." Cassandra teased, rising to her feet with a little giggle.

"I already know what it might be called— The Swashbuckler's Wife." Emily added with a short laugh, perfectly able to imagine the situation.

"No, I think it'll be called The Swashbuckler's Wench. Pirates don't marry, remember?" Cassandra corrected, ringing the bell for Ellen to come take Juliette because it was time for them to go down for the ball.

"Of course." Emily agreed, "You will attend my hanging, won't you?"

But, even as they laughed and added to the joke, there was a tiny emptiness in the pit of Emily's heart that hadn't been full for years.