"And when midnight came, he named all the stars in the sky after her."
✖
There's something about the atmosphere when Kunpimook runs down the hospital's hallways looking for Jackson, Mina and Sana that he cannot describe.
It's half past two in the morning, he has just come directly to the hospital from the airport after dropping his bags at the apartment Yugyeom has rented for him a few days ago. He is fucking tired, but Jackson says it's an emergency, so here he is. Running down hallways still, but he can't find them.
"BamBam!"
Kunpimook swivels around and he suddenly spots Jackson just sitting down on the chairs in front of one of the rooms with Mina and Sana. He jogs over to them, dropping on the empty seat beside Jackson and catching his breath, his hand on his knees and his head lowered as he pants.
"You're late." A voice suddenly says, and even without asking, he knows it's for him. After all, he's the only one who hasn't been in Seoul for quite a while, the only person who hasn't even bothered to ask about this girl.
He ignores Mina, focusing on Sana and Jackson, and looking back and forth at them, as if demanding an answer to his question, "What happened to her?"
Nobody answers him, Jackson even looks away. Kunpimook frowns at all of them, then he turns to the door behind him, reaching over to the doorknob. It isn't even locked, and when he's just about to twist it open, Jackson suddenly stands up and grabs his arm, saying that they're not supposed to go in.
"I need to see Momo."
At this, Jackson's grip on his arm loosens and Kunpimook shakes him off, letting himself inside the girl's room and closing the door behind him with a soft thud. He immediately freezes at the sight of her, her blanket covering only half of her body, her blonde hair fanned out on the pillow underneath her head, and her arms exposed.
The sight of her exposed arms almost makes Kunpimook not want to go nearer to her. It's scary for him to think that she did all those to herself, and that possibly, that is the exact reason why she is in this institution in the first place.
He takes a chair from the desk and tugs it nearer to the side of her bed, eyes taking in her soft features first before dropping down to the bloody catastrophe of her forearms.
The cuts are deep, raw red, and Kunpimook doesn't think they're supposed to be that way. She's in a hospital, she isn't supposed to be hurting herself even more, she's supposed to be healing, but some of her cuts actually look like they've been opened recently.
He doesn't know why he does, perhaps it's involuntary, but he reaches out, his fingers lightly touching the edges of her cuts and dragging the tip of his finger along a particularly long one, and she suddenly jerks. Kunpimook nearly falls off his chair when she sits up straight and looks around, dark eyes falling on him.
She squints at him once, then knocks on the side of her head, then squints at him again. Then, all of a sudden, her eyes widen and he can see how fast tears are filling them up.
"You're not real, are you?" Her voice comes out surprisingly hoarse, but it's quiet, it's so soft that Kunpimook would never hear it if he was simply passing by. When he doesn't answer, she speaks again, pinching both her cheeks hard and tears start to roll down, "This is just a dream, yeah? Or are you a memory and I'm already dead?"
-
Kunpimook leaves Seoul at the end of his holiday and doesn't come back until his next. He doesn't keep in contact with anyone, talk to anyone from Seoul, even disables his Korean sim card so he doesn't know anything about them until the next time he returns.
Still, that doesn't mean he doesn't think of them, especially of a certain girl.
-
Meanwhile, while he's gone, aforementioned certain blonde haired girl runs out into the busy streets of Hongdae. Kunpimook's lived there for a while when he came back, and he's mentioned it to the others. Jackson's mentioned it to the blonde when she got released from the hospital.
So now, she's at Hongdae, trying to look for him again because she doesn't know he's already disappeared once more.
She examines at the style of every person she sees, trying to match it to Kunpimook's. She peeks at every face, and receives weird looks in return. She runs through the busy crowds, peeks in the stores, walks between couples.
She tries.
She really did.
She comes back every day, every week. She spends every possible hour waiting there. Jackson and the girls tell her it's no use for her to waste her time and energy on that, but she can't help it.
It's just that the end of every day is no different from the last. He's still just, somewhat, like an illusion to her.
He's still nowhere to be found.
_____
2019.01.23
iT'sbeen whole fuckin years.
this is so overdue, and i swear to god i really wanted to write another fic and continue this one, but well. life and fandom got in the way, and...you probably know the rest just from my dp.
anyway, i literally had this in my drafts since literally march 2017 and it was even titled incandescent. i really wanted to post this, but yeah. i figured i might never get back to it anymore, and people have been messaging, commenting, posting asking for another part to this, so i decided to just post this here.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
this is really short, seeing how it's been too long so i posted.
