Subject: LOVE 101

Reality 15

Reality 15

"Mama!" Hinihingal akong bumangon mula sa higaan. Another nightmare. It had been a while since the last time I had dreamed about the accident.

"Cee!", Russel came rushing to the room where I was soaking with sweat. "What's wrong? I heard you shouted?" Instead of answering his question, I threw my arms around him and started crying.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he worriedly asked but I feel too weak to respond. He tried to calm me down by caressing my back and somehow, it actually worked.

But I can still feel my body trembling. I don't want to remember those memories. Ngunit pakiramdam ko ay muli bumalik ako sa senaryong iyon. Heavy rain. Thunder. Lightning. Loud crash... It's been a long time. Why can't I just forget that freaking accident? Bakit kailangang paulit-ulit itong magreplay sa utak ko?

"Oh God, you're shaking. Wait here, I'll get you water." Tatayo na dapat ito ngunit pinigilan ko sya.

"Don't." I held his hand to stop him from leaving. "Please don't leave me." I pleaded and I feel so pathetic for doing so. I don't need a water. All I need is someone beside me. To make me feel safe and guarded. I hate thing feeling- the fear that's starting to embrace me once again.

He stared at me intently. As if trying to read what's on my mind. Then he let out a deep sigh. "I will never leave you. I promise." He said while taking my hands as an assurance. "Go back to sleep."

I just nodded and moved a little to the other side of the bed to give him some space. "Just so you know, I still hate you." I whispered when we're both lying in bed, facing each other and he's still holding my hand.

He gave me a warm smile. "I know." He said while moving some strands of hair away from my face. "You should go back to sleep. This has been a long and tiring day."

"I don't know how." And I'm afraid that those nightmare would come back.

Matagal nyang tinitigan ang mukha ko na tila tinatantiya kung ano ba ang dapat nyang gawin. It's a kind of stare that could actually melt someone. It was too intenese and I couldn't decipher what exactly he was thinking. And what he did next surprised me a lot. He started humming while caressing my hair. "Rock a baby under tree top."

I can't help but smile in his sweet gesture. "Don't you have a better song in mind? " I teased. Rock baby? Really? What am I, one year old?

"That's Cassey's favorite lullaby when she was a baby. I used to sing it to her." He said with a proud smile.

Kahit gaano pa kalaki ang inis na nadarama ko para sa kanya, I can't deny the fact that he's a good father.

"Well then, for Cassey's sake, that song would be fine."I closed my eyes and he started to hum again. I couldn't thank him enough for staying beside me.

"Sleep tight. I'll stay beside you," I felt him kissed my forehead. "As long as you want me to. " I thought I heard him added before I finally went back to sleep.

The next day, I was awaken by a delicious aroma. Hmm. Coffee.

"Good morning princess," bumungad ang nakangiting mukha ni Russel pagkadilat ko. "Breakfast in bed." He's holding a tray of food.

So that's the smell that woke me up. "You should'nt have bothered," I can't help but twitch my lips into a smile. What's up with this guy? He's being undeniably sweet all of the sudden. "But nevertheless, thank you." Inayos ko na ang upo ko ang hinarap ang pagkaing nasa harap ko. " Wow. What can I say, it looks edible." I said grinning when I finally saw how murdered the food in front of me looked.

"Oh c'mon. Why are so fascinated of insulting me? You could have just given me A for effort," he complained with a frown. "And besides, cooking is not my cup of tea."

I didn't realize that someone could actually look adorable with a frown. He's really cute.

"I do appreciate your effort but, you should have waken me up." And we could have saved the food from getting murdered. The hotdog looks like a charcoal. The egg, is this scrambled or sunny side up with the eggshell? The sandwich, thanks god, there's something I could actually eat besides the coffee. "Dapat ginising mo na lang ako."

"You sleep like a baby and I don't want to disturb you. Plus, I want to cook for you." He gave me a megawatt smile that I rarely saw.

There he goes again. Konti na lang talaga, iisipin ko nang linalandi nya lang ako.

"Okay, so magmumumog lang ako then I will be the judge of your wonderful cooking skills." Sarkastiko kong turan bago ako nagtungo sa banyo.

I heard him chuckle at nang bumalik ako ay nakaupo pa rin ito sa paanan ng kama.

"Okay, first stop, hotdog." I acted like I was inspecting it. "Hmm, I didn't know na may iba na palang flavor ang hotdog ngayon. Where did you buy this? Nice innovation huh," I said teasingly while trying to control my laughter. "The egg," I took one bite at di na ako nagulat na may nakagat akong balat. "It's nice but it would be nicer if you fried it without it's shell." This time, I burst out of laughter. "Good thing there's a sandwich. And you're lucky I love coffee, no matter how it taste, I would drink it."

Matapos kong pagtripan ang niluto nya, hindi na maipinta ang mukha nito. I should have brought my camera. Sayang, priceless pa naman ang hitsura nito ngayon.

"Are you done praising me? Cause really, I would rather see you eat than hear your compliments." Pagmamaktol nito habang nakabusangot ang mukha. Daig pa nito ang bata.

I was still giggling while taking a sip of the strongest coffee I had ever drank. Paniguradong aatakehin na naman ako ng insomia mamaya. "Di mo ba ako sasabayan?" I asked when I realized he's just watching me. How am I suppose to eat properly when someone's observing me?

"Don't mind me, I'm already done."

Nagpatuloy na lang ako sa pagkain kahit na naiilang ako dahil nanunuod ito. Pakiramdam ko tuloy ay lalo akong nahirapang lunukin ang kinakain ko. Parusa na nga ang kainin ang niluto nya, nanuod pa sya. Nang matapos akong kumain, masigla itong tumayo at kinuha ang pinagkainan ko. I told him na ako na maghuhugas but he insisted of doing it.

After he left, I heard my phone ringing. I hurried to see who's calling but when I reached it, I realized that it wasn't a call. It's a reminder. Of course, how could I forgot?

June 12, 9:00 a.m.

Mom's death anniversary.