Forbidden (Punk Luke Hemmings)

thirty nine

I was never able to give her the benefit of the doubt, and promise that things would always be okay; things would break, but we would fix them — together. Ever since I felt her lips on mine that night at my apartment, I fell, deep down, and there was no way of getting up. 

But the thing is, we go together or we don’t go down at all. We were in it together, I knew that, and she knew that. 

However, things can change. And well, have they? I knew for sure nothing had changed within me, if anything I was more in love with her now than ever. But I hadn’t seen her in 3 fucking months and I had no idea whether or not her perspective towards us had changed. All I could hope was that it didn’t.

“You alright, honey? You’re awfully quiet!” mum questioned seriously, the laughter dying down.

I turned my focus away from the window — the clouds, and to my mum. 

“Oh sorry, I must’ve tuned out. I’m fine mum, just thinking, that’s all. I’ve been good dad, things have been good. I mean yeah, when I first moved out things were a little tough, but Calum’s family helped me back on my feet again, and I got a job, and my own apartment. From there I guess, things went a little downhill… I was still the same kid I was a couple of months back, all I thought about was alcohol, drugs, and girls. But then one day, I guess that all just… changed? I uh, I met this girl. She moved from Brisbane in July, and she goes to school with the boys and Alex. She became good friends with them, and I met her at a party they took her to. We got off on the wrong foot, mainly because well… I was an asshole. But we went on a date, and she came back to my apartment for a movie. And mum, for the first time, I felt something. I was having feelings! I cried mum, for the first time in a year, and I cried in front of her. And guess what? She didn’t leave. She stayed with me the whole time. She stayed the whole night, and we didn’t even have sex. She was there when I woke up too. And she stayed even after that. She stayed by me, and she’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. I stopped being such an insensitive jerk, and I started caring about things and putting in effort. All because of her. She’s my- I mean, she was my girlfriend. And God mum, I love her… So much. I went to rehab for her.” I explained. 

I stopped fiddling with my fingers and looked up to see mum and dad both looking right back at me with wide eyes.

I mean, I figured they’d probably be surprised by my outburst, but I underestimated how surprised they would be.

“Wow Luke, sweetheart that’s amazing to hear. I’m so proud of you and the changes you have made, this girl sounds absolutely amazing, son. I’d love to meet her.” mum said, smiling widely at me.

I smiled back. My mum wants to meet my Daniella. I think they’d get along wonderfully. My smile grew wider as I imagined mum and Daniella bonding over recipes and girly movies. Yeah… that’d be amazing.

“I agree son, this girl sounds fantastic. What’s her name?” he asked.

“Daniella” I said proudly.

He nodded, “You mentioned that you aren’t dating anymore, what happened mate?” he questioned. I could tell by the tone in his voice and the look in his eyes that he asked the question very bravely, he was afraid that speaking about the situation would get me a little fired up. 

Was my own father scared of me? No, don’t be fucking stupid Luke. He’s scared of your temper. Remember all those times you lashed out at him?

“You don’t have to speak about it if you don’t want to, honey.” mum reminded.

“No it’s fine,” I said, putting on a fake smile. 

“Well I guess, I was taking heroin behind her back, like, she had no idea about it. And then well, I walked in to her and the boys in our hotel room and they had found one of the syringes. She got so mad at me, she was crying and when I tried to touch her she just…” I took a deep breath, closing my eyes momentarily as I tried to get rid of the water that was accumulating in my eyes.

I re opened my eyes, feeling my parents’ sad, sympathetic eyes watching me carefully. 

“She was a mess, and she wouldn’t let me go near her. Her mum died of a heroin addiction, and I had no fucking idea… She broke up with me and stormed out of the room. My whole entire world was crashing down right around me and there was nothing I could do, because it was all my damn fault. I let the only person I had ever loved slip right out of my finger tips and it hurt. That was the last time I saw her, because I went to rehab.” I finished, meeting my mums eyes. She had been crying.

Why was she crying?

“Why are you crying, mum?” I asked curiously.

“Sorry honey… I guess I just underestimated it when you said you loved her before. The look in your eyes as you spoke just then made me realise how much she must mean to you. Are you planning on getting her back, Luke?” she asked.

“Your mother’s a sucker for tragic love stories, son.” dad chuckled.

“You bet I am, mum. As soon as we’re off this plane I’m going to see her, if that’s okay with the two of you — of course.” I replied.

“Oh sure! Well your father’s car is at the airport, so we can drive you.” she smiled.

“Thanks, mum” I smiled back.

***

I took a deep breath.

“You alright, Luke?” dad asked.

I nodded, gulping.

“Just call us if you need anything. Good luck, honey” mum smiled.

I couldn’t find the words to speak so I simply opened the car door, flashing mum a smile and a nod.

I shut the door behind me and waited until they drove off the street to move.

Was it even possible to move?

I felt as if my feet were fucking glued to the concrete.

God, the memories this house brought back.

I smiled, thinking of that time when I picked her up for our first date. What a day that was.

It was dark outside, but it felt as if the spotlight was on me. I had never felt like this before. It felt as if my heart was beating out of my chest. 

I took another deep breath, before finally moving. I took a couple of footsteps until I found myself right outside her front door.

This was it.

What if she isn’t even home? What if she’s with some guy?

Yeah, she’s probably not here. And if she is, she’s probably asleep.

I turned around to leave, but stopped in my tracks.

Don’t be a fucking coward, Luke. You’re better than this.

The girl you’re in love with and haven’t seen for 3 fucking months is inside that house, and you know it.

I sighed inwardly, turning around and knocking on the door.

Would she recognise my knock?

I didn’t even have time to answer my own question because the door opened. 

I looked up from my feet and my eyes met with the captivating chocolate brown ones that I had fallen so endlessly in love with. 

Her cheeks were tearstained, but she looked so fucking beautiful.

Suddenly, she lept into my arms.

I didn’t even need time to fucking react because my instincts already had, wrapping my arms around her waist.

I held her tight. So fucking tight, because I was afraid if my arms were any looser, that she'd slip out of them. The world was right here in my arms, and I never wanted to let go.

A/N
FUHWAEUHFUIHEFH OH MY GOD I HAD FEELS WRITING THIS LIKE IS THAT NORMAL OR
LUELLA IS REUNITED
YAAAAAAAS
HAHAHA I PUT SO MANY SWS AND ATL REFERENCES IN THIS LMAO
LOVE U ALL SOOOO MUCH
THIS IS KINDA COMING TO AN END SOON
IM ALSO KINDA STARTING 2 NEW FAN FICS SOON AND IM SO FUCKING EXCITED TBH (A LUKE ONE AND AN ASHTON ONE)
LOVE,
ASH XXXX