I still see your shadows in my room

I am Confusion

Gerard woke up and rubbed the crusties out of his eyes. He rolled out of bed and started to dress himself in the dark. He stretched and smiled to himself. He was getting better, today was going to be a good day. 

Dragging himself up the stairs, he ran his fingers through his long red hair. He looked around for his mom, but didn't see her. She must have already been at work.  Gerard had a habit of his mom being there every morning. Just recently she started going back to work. Gerard texted his mom: Good morning! I hope you have a great day at work!!! No need to worry, todays going to be good. 

He followed the routine his mother used to do. He put the kettle on the stove and opened the fridge. No more apples. Gerard took a deep breath, it would be okay. He didn't need apples this morning. 

No apples...? Gerard texted his mom as he grabbed a bag of grapes, blueberries and some strawberries. He ate a couple grapes and jumped when the kettle started steaming. Chucking to himself, he poured the water into a cup with two tea bags in it. He gave up on eating and sipped his hot tea and grabbed his book bag. This was his first day back to school. He was scared, excited, but scared. 

Good morning, Gee bear! I'm so sorry honey, I'll get some on the way home. I love you! Call me if you need anything. Gerard opened his phone as he shut the door and smiled. He was going to have a good day.  

Gerard walked with both earbuds in and a skip in his step. He was happy, everything was gonna be better. Anything could be better than that. It had to be. Gerard got to school early and walked into the office first. 

"Hello,  I'm Gerard, can I uh see my counselor?" Gerard stuttered out to the secretary. She scrunched up her face and pointed to the small doorway to her left. Gerard walked away trying to keep a smile on his face, then he heard her whisper. 

"That's the guy I was talking about... Boom boom boom." she giggled and continued, "You know those kids, they walk and the whole fucking building shakes." 

Gerard sighed, they still remembered. He tapped on the door of Mr. Duncan's office then walked in with his nod. 

Looking down still shook by what happened, Gerard stuttered out, "Can I uh can I have my uh my schedule?" Mr. Duncan nodded and printed something off. 

"Mr. Way, right?" 

Gerard nodded and accepted the paper. 

"Try not to freak out again." Mr. Duncan smiled and chuckled to himself. 

"Great, thanks for the advice." Gerard sighed and struggled to keep his optimism up. 

Mom... I kinda want to go home.... I just got my schedule and my counselor is a jerk and everyone remembers...

Gerard went to go meet his teachers, Mrs. Rueman Advanced English. This was going to be good. Very good. He walked into the classroom and saw a short asian women typing quickly with quite music in the background. He cleared his throat and the teacher held up a finger, not slowing her typing, then turned to him. 

"Hello!" The teacher smiled and Gerard felt welcome, loved almost it was good. "I'm Mrs. Rueman, you are...?" She trailed off waiting for him to finish her sentence. 

"Gerard. Way. Gerard Way."

"Oh, the new student? Well, I think that we should get you caught up, starting school so late and taking an advanced class, that's brave, Mr. Way. Now lets see how much you know. How about you take a test, and we'll see from there what you need help with and stuff. Sound good?"

Gerard smiled and nodded. He knew it was early, but he knew he was going to love this class. 

"So why are you starting school so late, hon?" The teacher stared at Gerard and he shuffled his feet side to side. 

"Oh, well... It's well, it is a long story, I'd rather not get into it now." Gerard nodded off started to get scared. She knew. Everyone knew. "Can I actually just use the restroom before I take the test?" Gerard didn't wait for Mrs. Rueman's answer, he started walking out. 

"Sure thing, sorry if I offended you..." She trailed off confused. He had just shown up.

Gerard bursted into the bathroom with a deep breath. He looked in the mirror and washed his face. Momma... Everyone knows... He took another deep breath, dried his face, and looked in the mirror again. He was better. He knew it. Nobody could tell him otherwise. 

HI GUYS IT'S ME HELLO! I'M NOT DEAD AND I'M GOOD AT WRITING. I HAVE HAD THIS PLANNED AND I HAVE IT ALL WRITTEN OUT ALREADY I JUST NEED TO EDIT IT. I'VE BEEN WORKING ON MY MUSIC A LOT SOOO YAY THAT'S FUN. WELL THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU

IF you need anything just let me know message me and I'll give you alllll my love

actual quote from a song I just wrote: "just please leave me the fuck alone"

:) i love YOU