Empty? Possibly. [Zico]

Chapter One

2 months ago
I visited my boyfriend's parents. We were going to eat dinner with my parents and my boyfriend, of course. I rang the doorbell, to see that the door was open, so I stepped inside. Which shouldn't be a problem since they know me.
"Hello?" I said, no answer. I went upstairs to see my boyfriend's dad in the hallway on his phone.
"Yes. I need an ambulance here. Now!" He yelled. I jumped.
"Hello," I said, and his dad turned around with a face that pains me to think of. His eyes were red and tears were all over his face.
"What happened??" I asked. He sobbed and collapsed on the floor as his trembling fingers pointed to the bathroom. I opened the door to see his mom on the floor, holding my boyfriend in her arms, sobbing. I croutch over.
"Y/N...he committed suicide." She said, sobbing.
"N-No, this is all a joke, right?! It's April fools day, right?! Stop this prank!" I stammered, tears welling up in my eyes.
She shook her head no.
"Don't come to his funeral, I don't want you to have more pain." She said.
Present time

I woke up today. Looked at my phone for good morning calls, only to remember he was gone. I went downstairs and ate one piece of bread with one cup of water.
"Y/N." My dad said.
"I'm going out today, I'll be back." I said.
I changed my clothes and left. I walked around town. I saw the river where we had our first kiss. The gift shop we went to to buy gifts for his parents. The grocery store we got kicked out of because we were too loud. I sighed. He never told me he was going through pain. He never showed any signs.

But I can't spend my whole life thinking about him.

I decided to go home. I was only outside for 30 minutes.
I sat in the living room as my parents sat across from me.
"Y/N, we know it's been hard for you. So, we've decided that maybe it's good for you to go to therapy." My dad said.
"When?" I asked.
"In two hours, get ready."
"Fine."
I went upstairs in my room as I laid on my bed and put on my headphones. I played some of my favorite songs, drowning out sounds from the world.
I closed my eyes and imagined myself in a black void, floating while the songs were playing endlessly.
But I had to get ready for my appointment.
So I did. I just put on some clothes. Nothing special.
My mom drove me there. And she walked me to the office and left me there. I walk up to the lady at the desk.
"I'm here for an appointment..?" I mumbled nervously.
"What's your name?" She asked.
"Y/N L/N."
"Head into this hallway and look for room 15. Dr. Woo will be with you soon."
"Thank you," I said as I headed down the hallway she pointed to.
I went in to the room and sat down in the chair in front of the desk. On the desk I saw a picture of a guy who was probably around my age.
Possibly the son of this Dr. Woo dude.
Someone knocked on the door and walked in. The same person in the picture. So, I guess that guy is my therapist..? He wasn't wearing a suit. He was wearing casual everyday clothes.
"Hello, I'm Dr. Woo, but call me Jiho. I prefer to be casual with my patients."
I stay silent, not knowing how to continue the conversation.
"So, your parents signed up for an appointment with me. I'm a pretty popular therapist. Since I'm young and most of the people who need therapy here are young, their parents usually tend to choose me. Since I can empathize with them more."
"Ah..okay." I mumbled.
"Your name is...Y/N, right?" I nodded.
"Well, we'll start off with this. Stress toys. Have you heard of the such?" He asked.
"I mean, I see a lot of kids play with them for fun.." Jiho handed me a ball filled with some type of gel. I squeezed it in my hand.
"So, from what your parents have told me, you had a boyfriend, and he all of a sudden..committed suicide?"
"....yes."
"I'm sorry. Do you think it was partly your fault..?"
"No...sometimes...I don't know.."
"Well, let's put it this way. Do you think you could've done anything to prevent it from happening?"
"Yes..sometimes."
"What would you want to do?"
"Just hug him every day and tell him everything is fine."
"What ages were you and your boyfriend?"
"I'm 25 and he was 26."
"Wow, we're almost the same age! I'm 26!"
How am I supposed to respond? Congratulations? Good for you? I just sit there, not saying anything again.
Jiho clears his throat.
"Well, here's what I usually do with my patients. I take them out to drink at a cafe, since the environment there is more calming. Also because young people nowadays LOVE cafes and I love coffee."
"Okay." I said. He stood up and put on his jacket.
We walked to the cafe down the street.
I never knew therapy would be like this. But maybe it's just because my therapist is a laid back type of person.
I just ordered jasmine tea while he ordered a cup of coffee. I personally hate coffee, I don't like the taste of it when I drink water afterwards.
We sat at a table and our order came.
"So, we will occasionally come to a cafe for our appointments. Anyways, your parents told me that you've been having issues with socializing and keeping up with meals?"
"Uh, well...I guess I'm still grieving..I really don't know."
"Grieving is a stage where you feel sad and miserable when a loved one dies. It's best not to do any type of harm that could change your stage of well being. You should go out with your friends more often. Get some fresh air, you know what I mean?" He asks, and I smell his breath. It smelled like his coffee. I liked the smell but the taste is something I would avoid.
"I don't really have many friends to hang out with..they're all overseas for their master's degree.." I said.
"Then I guess I could be your friend. If you ever feel lonely, just contact me. I'm here for my clients."
"Eh..." I mumbled.
"That is, if you're comfortable. It's weird having a therapist who talks to you casually, I know. The office I work for decided to try something new, and clearly," He said, pointing to himself. "It worked." He finished.
"If you were given the opportunity, would you move on and date someone new?" He asked.
"Im not sure..."
"Well, you should. It's the right thing to grieve about someone, but you shouldn't spend your whole life thinking about them in a negative way. Life should be explored, rather than closing up and not letting anyone in."
Pretty deep words for someone my age. I'm impressed.
"So, what I'm basically saying is, if you feel an attraction to anyone, go for it. Your boyfriend wouldn't want you to be lonely your whole life. He would want someone that would make you laugh."
"Okay.." I said.
"His death was not your fault. Did you do anything that upset him?"
"..yes, but it was just when I would eat his food." I said. Jiho chuckled.
"Well, if he didn't give a cold shoulder to you, then he was probably having a hard time because of something else. He's not experiencing the pain he felt anymore. He's in a better place now. Heck, he probably has a dog in heaven!"
"I guess."
"Let's go back to the office."

We did. He talked more there. This wasn't so bad. I really didn't wanna go, but the way Jiho talked to me made me calm and at ease.

My mom picked me up.
"How was the appointment?"
"It helped, thank you." I said.
"Well, you're going back there next week."
"...okay."
"What did he talk about?" My mom asked.
"He said that the death wasn't my fault, and that I should go out more often and also that I should try to date again."
"Well, speaking of...your dad and I set you for a blind date..."
"..what?" I asked, slowly getting angry.
"Well, we thought that maybe a new boyfriend could help you, what do you say? It's tomorrow at 12.."
"Fine. I'll try." I muttered. It's nice to give it a try at least.

The next morning, I did my usual routine. But then I remembered about the blind date. I looked in my closet and tried to find my dresses. It was casual, yet slightly formal.
I went downstairs after I changed and got my bag. I asked my mom for the address and she gave it.

I drove there, it was a cafe...again. I walked inside and looked around the place. I look at the picture my mom gave me and looked for the man. He seemed slightly older, maybe 28? I found him at a table and approached him.
"..hello." I said.
"Are you Y/N?" I nodded. I sat next to him.
"I'm Inseong. Your parents told me you hated coffee so I got us some tea."
"Thank you."
After five minutes, our drinks arrived and I started to drink my tea.
"So, what do you do for a living?" He asked.
"I don't have a job at the moment." I said. He placed his hand on my thigh. I didn't think much of it.
"Well, I'm a dentist for children..well, I'm going to school to become a dentist for children." He started to move his hand on my leg.

That's starting to make me feel uncomfortable. Then he pressed his fingers on my private part. I push his hand away.
"Can you stop, please?" I politely asked. My mom taught me to be polite in a situation like this, but if they didn't stop, that's when it's best to take action.
"No..I really like you." He said. I panicked. My eyes started to tear up.
Don't cry. His hand goes back on my leg.
"Stop it!" I yelled and I left.
I stood outside the cafe, unclear about my surrondings. I can't breathe and tears were falling down my eyes. I gulp as I nervously look around. Someone put their hands on my shoulders, holding me still.
"Let go of me-" I started
"Are you ok?" I looked to see Jiho. I start sobbing.
He walked me over to a bench.
"Hey, hey, hey..can you tell me what happened?" He asked, rubbing my back.
"I-I don't k-know..my parents sent me to a blind date and it was going well but he started touching me in ways I didn't like.." I started crying again. "I told him to stop but he wouldn't so I
l-l-left."
"Hey, I'm here now, calm down. I can help you." Jiho said.
"Catch your breath." I struggle to, but eventually my breathing goes back to normal.
"Do you want me to call the police?" He asked.
"No, please." I said, panicking again.
"Okay, it's okay....your secret is safe with me."
"I bought some dumplings..do you want some?" He asked.
I nodded, sniffling. He handed me one.
"Be careful, it's hot." I bit it and blew out the hot air.
"Hey, if anything happens again, come to me..I'll help you, okay?"
I nodded as I chewed my food.
"You really like food, don't you?" He asked, laughing afterwards. I swallowed my food.
"..don't tease me." I mumbled.
"I'm sorry," He said, chuckling.

Word count: 1995 words

Thank you for reading.