Fridge Cleaning Guidelines

Fridge

Here is a general guideline for which foods to keep and which foods toss: if it has been here long enough to pay rent, throw it out. If it is established to the point of negotiating civil rights with the UN, throw it out. If it can tell you to close the fridge door, the light is hindering it sleep, throw it out. If it can be issued a tourist visa for our country, throw it out. If the science department of the local school is trying to establish it as a new species and put it in protective status, throw it out. If the chicken you bought did not have legs when you put it in there, but it has since evolved supplemental limbs, throw it out. If you can ask 'one lump or two' when referring to the coffee creamer, throw it out. If you can mistake the Ziploc baggie of meat for a prehistoric mummified alpine traveler, throw it out. If the director of homeland security is investigating its potential use as a biological weapon, an instrument of war with the capability of wiping out an entire country, throw it out.