Scars

Chapter 1

Chapter 1:   Why?

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Pain. Such an interesting concept, don't you think? It can be physical or mental. If it's serious enough, you cry. It's the body's way of telling you something is wrong. But when you feel pain physically and mentally so much, it's a different story. You began to get used to it.  You expect it. It's a pattern. You'll still cry but they're empty tears. And the question that runs through your head every day is the same.

' Will it ever end? '

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I sigh as I wiped my hands on the dish towel. How can a dysfunctional family of two make so many dishes? I let out a tired yawn and glanced at the clock. 12:30 A.M. I've been doing dishes for three hours. 

Papyrus was asleep right now. I'll just sneak my way up stairs and slip into bed. As long as I don't wake him up, everything should be fine. I fold the towel and place it neatly on the counter by the coffee pot. I slowly and cautiously walk up stairs and stop at a scratched up door that opened to my room.

My bedroom was nothing fancy. My bed consisted of a beaten up pile of blankets. Some had holes from years of use. There was a closet with about three shirts, a sweater,  and two pairs of jeans. I had a bathroom but it was falling apart and the toilet kept on breaking so I had to fix it myself. other than that, there was really nothing else. I grabbed a shirt from the closet and went to the bathroom. I closed the door and locked it.

As I stripped off my dirty clothes I stared at my body through my cracked mirror. Almost every inch of me was covered in ugly scars. I looked at it with distaste. I hated my body. Not only did I look ugly, but who wanted to see ugly scars on someone? It least I'm not the one inflicting pain on myself. And my figure. I looked like a girl. It wouldn't be that bad if I wasn't mocked for it. Or hurt because I wasn't man enough.

I rubbed a thumb over my newest scar. It was on one of my ribs and it was large. I got this one because I fell on Papyrus making him trip. I visibly shook. I really needed to be more careful.  I didn't need anymore scars then I already had.

I slipped on my shirt. I grabbed my toothbrush and ran some water over it. I squirt some toothpaste on and brushed my teeth. Once I was done, I picked up my clothes and put them in a random corner. I gently flopped onto my blankets and snuggle in close. I was so cold. I fell asleep pretty fast but as always, nightmares plagued my dreams. 

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I was in a dark room. There was no exit. I was stuck. I curled into a ball and began to cry. That is until I heard something. The voices had returned.

"lOoK tHe BaBy Is CrYiNg!" I shut my eyes trying to ignore them but the voices could be heard in my head.

" hE rEaLlY iS uGlY lOoKiNg."

" HoW cAn He LiVe WiTh HiMsElF kNoWiNg He'S UseLeSs?

" Shut up...." I muttered but the voices were just getting started.

" yOu ReAlLy ArE sTuPiD."

" yOu ShOuLd JuSt kIlL yOuR sElF."

" No OnE wOuLd MiSs YoU aNyWaY."

" Leave me alone." I said but they wouldn't be quiet.

" WhY sHoUlD wE?"

" wE aRe OnLy TeLlInG tHe TrUtH."

" JuSt KiLl YoUrSeLf."

" No...please go away..." My tears fell onto the dark floor. The voices chuckled at my tears. They were enjoying themselves.

" JuSt KiLl YoUrSeLf."

" jUsT kIlL yOuRsElF."

" JuSt KiLl YoUrSeLf."

 " No! Go away!"

" JusT KiLl YoUrSeLf."

" jUsT kIlL yOuRsElF."

" GO AWAY!!!!"

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I woke up panting and sweating. I was no longer cold. I shook in my blankets. I've been having this dream for as long as I could remember. The dream was basically always in a dark room. But what the voices say were always different. But the dream usually ends with the voices telling me to kill myself. 

I may be useless, I may be trash, and I may be stupid, but I will never kill myself. No matter what the voices say.

I look out the window I had. It was still dark. I sighed knowing I wasn't going back to sleep anytime soon. I slowly got up and started getting ready for the day. I was going to school today. I grabbed my red sweater, a pair of jeans, underwear, and my converse. It didn't take that long to put on. I look at my red sweater and inhale it's scent. I smiled faintly. It smelled like mustard. 

I had habit of drinking mustard. I know, sounds disgusting. But it tastes pretty good. Papyrus knew I liked mustard so he band it from the house. I hadn't tasted mustard in forever. That tangy yet sour taste was so good! My mouth began to water just thinking about it.

I heard a door open, then I jumped when it was closed harshly.

Papyrus was up.

I quickly grabbed my backpack and ran down stairs. Papyrus was sitting at the table reading a book. He looked up and glared at me.

" Well? Get breakfast going." He didn't yell, but he didn't have to. His voice was commanding enough to scare me to do anything he wanted. I quickly set down my backpack and began working on making eggs, bacon and sausage. Soon, the smell of sizzling bacon and cooking eggs and baking sausage filled the air.

I place the finished food on a plate and gave the food to him with my head lowered as a sign of respect. I could feel him smirking as he took the plate. I sat down at the table and looked at my hands that were on my lap. I wasn't aloud to eat without permission. 

Finally, Papyrus said." Grab yourself an apple." I nodded and walked to the basket that held all our apples. I fished one out and took a bite. It was sweet and had a crisp taste to it. Perfect for fall. Papyrus got up and said, " Go to school. And you better behave yourself. I don't want to punish you." Then he smiled in a sadistic way making me shiver.

" But I will If I must." Then he turned away from me. I cautiously grabbed my backpack and walked to the front door. I sighed as I opened it. Why did live like this? Why do I live in constant fear of being hurt by my own brother? Why? Did I deserve this much pain? Just.....

                                                                                   Why?

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Well, this is my first ever book I've published. I know. It's garbage but just hang in there. I swear it will get better. BY~!

I-Love-Yaio.

P.S. : 1140 words. ;)