Suddenly, I heard a new sound, the sound of compressed air leaking. I looked around frantically in my capsule but I couldn't find the source of the sound. It had to be from the other capsule.
“Capsule Two’s integrity has been compromised!” I shouted from behind the glass. “Shut it down!”
Charlotte flashed me a panicked look as she twisted dials to compensate energy output and yanked the lever down, but I already knew it was too late. I’d designed the machine, and I knew that the sister particles had all been released. If there was even the smallest gap in the containment field, then the particles were all on their way back out into the universe.
I hammered on the door until it opened with a pneumatic hiss I ignored as I rushed out to the controls. I shoved Charlotte out of the way and started adjusting them. I knew, on some level, that it was pointless, but I tried regardless to seal the second capsule and rein in some of the particles.
“It’s too late,” I heard Charlotte say behind me. I tore myself from the control panel to face her.
“And whose fault is that?” I shouted. “You were supposed to check the second capsule!”
“I did-”
“-You were supposed to make sure it was perfect!”
“I did,” she shouted in reply.
“And now look where we are! We can’t get the particles back!” I shrieked, despite Charlotte’s interruptions. “We only had one chance at this, one chance, and now I’m back where I started!”
I had lost everything and it was all her fault.
“I’m sorry!” Charlotte shouted. “I’m sorry! I wish I could fix this for you!” She reached out for me, and I turned away, still locked in my frustration.
“That was my one chance Charlotte, and because of you, it’s gone.”
I went over revisions to the machine in my head, but nothing was working out. After a silence that seemed heavy, Charlotte cleared her throat and I turned to face her.
“Maybe… maybe you don’t need to do any of this,” she said quietly. “Why don’t you just come out into the world? You can just…live.”
“Maybe that’s enough for you, but you’re just you,” I said scornfully, and saw the words cut into her. “I’m something different. Something extra.” At this I slumped to the floor. “I’m a spare part, Charlotte, a replacement. I needed to prove that I have a place and a purpose, that I’m not just another science experiment.”
“You don’t have to prove anything!” Charlotte replied in tears. “You’ve never had to prove anything. Doing something great doesn’t make you worthy. Stepping into that machine doesn’t make you a part of the world. You can just be. That’s all.”
I was about to reply when something from Charlotte’s response caught in my mind. I stood back up and began adjusting dials on the control panel.
“What’s going on?” Charlotte sniffed. “What are you doing?”
I ignored her as I rushed over to the first capsule and tweaked some things on the monitor. It didn’t take Charlotte long to understand the goal of my alterations.
“That won’t work!” she shouted. “The containment field was ruptured. If you jump right now you’ll switch with particles all over the place! You’ll be torn into billions of pieces!”
“No, I’ll be in billions of places!” I said with excitement. “Don’t you see? I’ll be everywhere! I’ll be a part of everything!” I adjusted some more settings to make the transition easier.
“But you’ll be gone!” Charlotte cried, and I turned to see tears returning to her eyes. “I’ll never see you again!”
“You will, Charlotte,” I said with a quiet smile as I put a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll be everywhere.”
My one regret as I stepped into the machine was that Charlotte did not fully understand. I think I gave her some comfort, but she was still crying as she started the jump sequence and I heard the hiss of the door as it clasped shut. I gave her a final wave and she smiled a small smile that I think comforted her as much as it did me. I smiled back and prepared for what was to come. Charlotte initiated the jump, and as the chamber filled with light, I thought to myself, I wonder where I’ll be first?
A Part of Something
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