My Book of Bullshit

Get Jinxed | Zack Fair

Sorry it took so long. I listened to the song, loved it, and then completely took it out of context. Whoops. Sorry, Orlith.

* * *

You were concentrating. Hard. This was serious. It was about to happen. You let out a breath that you had been holding in for a while now. It was time.

3...2...1...GO!

You held the acceleration button on the Wii remote and your kart zoomed away. Your arms moved gracefully as you turned the Wii remote steering wheel (that is the most awkward line I've ever written O.O). You approached the first jump and landed with ease, managing to hit a few karts off the course. You swerved to the right and avoided a banana and got an item box at the same time.

"Fuck yeah!" You yelled. You were really getting into it. You were in fifth place but you intended to get first. You hadn't lost in Mario Kart for years.

The item turned out to be a bomb. You launched forewords and when it exploded, it took the fourth and third placers with it. By now, you were second. The next jump came and you passed the first placer midair.

When you landed, you hit another item box. It was a set of three bananas. You kept them on you in case you needed protection from red shells or something.

...A Few Minutes Later...

"YESSSSS!" You exclaimed. You just got first place in the cup.

"I could probably kick your ass in Mario Kart." Zack mumbled. He had taken a seat at the opposite end of the couch about half way through the cup.

"Keep telling yourself that."

"What? I could if I really wanted to."

"Okay, fine. Wanna join me? Come and play. Then we can see who the real pro is."

"You're on!" Zack smirked.

Minutes later, you and Zack both had controllers and were choosing your characters. As usual, you chose Yoshi. After five minutes of debating who he should pick, Zack finally chose King Boo. You thought Zack took a long time to choose his character but then you waited for him to choose his kart.

...15 minutes later...

"I think I'm gonna choose this one." Zack clicked the button and you silently thanked the heavens.

You were about to choose the course 'Koopa Cape' but Zack refused, "It's too easy."

"Fine then. I can beat you at any race. Why don't we do the hardest one of them all?" You challenged.

"What, Rainbow Road? Piece of cake." Zack crossed his arms.

"Rainbow Road it is." You smirked.

You clicked the race and prepared to beat Zack. You took in a deep breath as the Lakitu counted down.

"I'm might shoot you in your face." You muttered

Zack gave you a confused look. "But wait...there aren't any guns in--" Zack never got to finish his sentence. The light turned green and you were off. Zack wasn't so lucky, though. "Which button is go?!" He panicked.

"It's the '2' button, dumbass." You smirked, proud that your attempt to distract him worked.

Zack was in 12th place (also known as last place). "How am I supposed to get to first?!"

"Bombs and Bullet Bills will do the trick."

* * *

"Would it kill you to try a little harder?" You yawned. "I'm getting bored."

"You just wait. I'm almost caught up." Zack focused hard on the game.

"You're in 11th place, Zack..."

* * *

The CPU's were kicking Zack's butt. Earlier, you had set them to 150 CC, which was the highest level of difficulty. It got to the point where if you were in his position, you would be failing as much as he was. It was like the CPU's were programmed to full on attack him.

"This is total--what's the word?" He asked, still pretty absorbed in the game.

"I think some people call it anarchy." You chuckled.

"Yeah! This is total anarchy."

* * *

It was toward the end of the final lap. Zack had barely managed to catch up with you. You both were battling it out for first place. He launched a red shell and you blocked it with a banana. Though, he had two other red shells which successfully hit you. You sighed irritably as he passed you. You grabbed an item box which turned out to be a green shell. With proper aim, you hit him spot on. You passed him but he was right on your tail. The finish line was coming up soon.

"This was a waste of my time. I knew I was gonna win from the beginning." You sighed.

"The race isn't over yet." Zack reminded.

"Yeah, but I'm gonna win."

"I don't think so. You'll get jinxed."

"Don't be silly."

Both Zack and you held your breath as you passed the finish line. The rankings popped onto the screen and your jaw dropped. You had jinxed yourself. Zack won. He beat you. He did the impossible.

"HA! I won!" Zack yelled.

"Oh would you shut up already? I went easy on you."

"Mmhm. Sure."

"It was a onetime thing."

"Why don't we see?" He smirked.

"It's on."

* * *

Well there ya go. I wanted to play Mario Kart when I wrote this. I am a master at all versions of MK (excluding Double Dash, I suck at that) and I've been undefeated for quite some time now.