For all I care. Avengers x reader

3

You walked to the meeting room, you hoped it was a mission, you were bored and hadn't had anything to do since the last one,

You walked down the long corridor, your posture was perfect as always, your back straight, shoulders pushed backwards, head held high.

This was the you other people saw, this was the you who didn't cry and scream in their sleep every night, the person who's mind still wasn't scrambled, the person who was unsure of every decision she made and was falling apart at the seams

You pushed open the door and walked inside, nick Fury was standing in the middle of the room, wearing a long black cloak and eye patch as always,

In front of him was a table that was a semi circle, it seated Tony, Steve, Bucky, Natasha, Clint, Wanda and Bruce

You sat down in between Bucky and Natasha

"Y/n nice of you to finally join us" Fury said in an annoyed voice

"I'm sure" you retorted and Tony snickered

Fury glared at you and you shrugged, he cleared his throat

"Anyway, we have received information that some kind of important shipment is being deployed to a HYDRA base in the south of Germany, you need to stop it, we also believe there are many high up agents and doctors there that you need to arrest" he paused " this could be a very dangerous mission and we will inform you if it's a code green" he glanced at Bruce who shifted under his gaze

"What 'high up agents and doctors' are there?" Tony asked

"We only know of thee but there could be more" Fury replied

"And they are.." tony trailed off 

A hologram appeared in front of fury, there were two men and one woman and you gasped, you recognised one of them - it was the man from your dream

You stood up and you chair fell to the floor - the temperature must have dropped ten degrees at least

"Y/n?" Steve asked also standing

"You okay?" Natasha asked as the group stared at you

You were breathing heavily

"There - I- I know - I" You stammered as you took a step backwards, just seeing that man brought back terrible memory's

"You know one of them?" Bucky asked

You just stared at the image of the man, he was tall, he had short back hair and sharp features, a huge scar running down the side of his face - you remembered giving it to him on the day you escaped

Suddenly you rushed out of the room, fighting back tears,

"I'll go after her" Bucky said and he ran after you

Bucky looked left then right, and he saw you turning the corner and he began to run after you

You ran to your room and slammed your door, you went to the side of your bed and sat down, finally letting the tears fall

Knock knock

You quickly stood and wiped your eyes, Bucky poked his head around the door

"Y/n?" He asked

You sat back down on the bed and looked to the floor without saying a word

Bucky walked in and sat next to you, you tried desperately to fight it but tears fell down your cheeks and Bucky seemed at a loss for words

"You know one of them don't you?" He said cautiously 

You didn't move but he knew it was a yes so he continued

"Y/n I know what it's like to be at HYDRA, i can assure you it's good to talk about it, - what did they do to you?"

You remained silent and Bucky sighed and shifted in his seat

"He tortured me" you said quietly and Bucky sat forwards "his name is doctor Lange"

"Okay" Bucky promoted

Tears slid down your face faster and you closed your mouth for fear you would tell Bucky everything

"What did he do to you?" Bucky asked

You took in a sharp breath "I can't do the mission" you said

"Why not?" Bucky shifted his legs towards you to face you better

You hesitated "I can't face him" you let out a sob and buried your head in your hands

"Y/n, you can. Tell me what he did - a problem shared is a problem halved"

You looked at him with fear in your eyes - you could not tell him, you look weak enough as it is

"Y/n" Bucky said insisted

You looked away from him and back at the floor

"They would strap me down to that god forsaken chair, it hurt - a lot. He would threaten me, taunt me. While I sat there and screamed in agony he and his friends laughed, he said he would break me and it infuriated him that he never could" you paused for breath "I have nightmares about him, he is the last one"

"The last one?" Bucky prompted

"I killed the rest when I escaped" you said bluntly

There was a moments silence that Bucky broke

"How did you escape?"

"You don't want to know" you looked at him directly in the eye with the intensity of a killer