𝐄𝐍𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 ° ° ° 𝑚. 𝑟𝑜𝑟𝑦

Chapter 17; Feelings

Previously on "Enlightenment"

Wait... In love? No, she's not in love, she can't be... can she? Mick Rory is a murderer, a criminal that has done so many bad deeds. Hurting innocents left and right. The sudden thought of actually loving her seems unreal. Suddenly, unwanted memories sprout up in her mind. With a quick though, Natalya rushes Nate out of the room. Once he is gone, she finally gives in. Sitting on the ground, back pressed against the wall. Fingers entwined with her hair. Eyes shut tightly, image after image. The sounds, it's as if she is reliving it all again.

Doctors say it's PTSD, she says it's a curse. A curse to relive every moment spent with her dreadful father. That she will meet again...

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NATALYA KNOWS WHAT SHE FEELS for Mick is real. Not a schoolgirl crush on the local bad boy, no, this is something more. Something mysterious, a something that could end up with her becoming a target, or worse.

Even with all the facts pointing towards her evident feelings, she still feels as if she denies them. It's confusing for her because she knows her feelings for Mick are true, but she still thinks they do not exist. Does love feel this way?

Love, an odd word. Love is just a chemical reaction, like adrenaline, a drug. Once you are on it, you're hooked, no going back. If you do manage to rip it away, it still comes back to haunt you. Very much like PTSD. A terrible thing happens, and even if it is in the past, memories show up. Makes you think that you are in that very same situation once again. A terrifying feeling, the same feeling as love.

To fully commit yourself to one person, it's not terrible, but it is horrifying. All the doubts come up in your head, you become hyper paranoid. Curiosity, another thing that comes when you are in love. Natalya can't help but feel all these things for Mick, and more...

Loving him seems too impossible to be true. Especially when he won't return the feelings. He's a thief, a murderer, he doesn't deserve to be loved and he is incapable of love.

With every thought of Mick Rory, she falls deeper and deeper. At this point there is no climbing back up, she's just stuck there. Waiting for him to destroy her so she can get on with her life. For him to be permanently gone so Natalya can go back to the orphanage with no worries. No worries of the kids getting hurt, or him coming back.

All Natalya wants to do is to call her friends and tell them everything. Unlike her though, her friends have jobs the whole day on weekdays while she has only half days on the weekdays due to the kids at school. Even with everything going on with Mick, she still worries about him, hoping nothing serious happened or is happening.

With one last breath of sickly sweet air that surrounds her, Natalya gets out of her bed, knowing that sitting down all day will accomplish nothing. Besides, she has to head to the grocery store to fill her fridge with edible food and not just mold. It may sound disgusting, but that's what happens when you leave on vacation, even if it was for a short amount of time. That short amount of time started as bliss to the orphanage worker, a bliss that turned into horror from finding out who Mick really is. 

She leaves her warm room, heading to the kitchen to at least make coffee and have an apple. Attempting to even try and make a nutritious breakfast will take to much time, especially when Natalya still needs to get ready to face the day head-on. After she eats her apple and while her coffee is being made, she walks back into her room and into her closet.  

As Natalya changes, she thinks of going back to the grocery store she once worked at. The only grocery store the entire town has. Seeing some of the old employees that used to be her friends will be awkward, no doubt about that. Within a few minutes of looking, Natalya finds an outfit for the long day ahead of her. In a rush, she grabs the clothes and goes into her bathroom, laying her outfit out on the counter. Natalya turns around and turns on the shower, letting the steam from the hot water fill the room.

¥                    ¥                    ¥

Night fell fast on the town. Natalya now sitting on the couch in the living room of the orphanage. Mrs. Brooke long gone and the kids supposedly asleep.  Even if she can still here them blabbering away upstairs in their rooms.

Natalya sighs, sinking back into the comfortable cushions. Pulling the red fluffy blanket tighter around her small body. Ignoring the coldness of the winter, ready to be spring weather, outside of the orphanage doors.

With nothing going on, she can't help but let her mind wonder. Thinking about the kids, and the grocery shopping she did earlier that day. Even her short vacation that was very much needed. Everything seems to be going back into place. Back were it's suppose to be.

Suddenly, the thought of Mick comes to her mind. She can't seem to get him out of her head lately, it's starting to annoy her. Its almost as if she's in a romantic novel where an innocent falls for the criminal. Cliche, and not her type of book. Or film for that matter, even though the occasional comedic Romance film is entertaining.

Still, Natalya has to start considering her feels for Mick. After thinking long and hard throughout the day, she has came to realize what she feels for him are more than just real. These feelings, are so much more than just a silly little crush. Crushes aren't true, but love is. Could Natalya really love a monster like Mick? She will never know because he's gone, hopefully never to be seen again.

It's best for Natalya to push her feelings deep down. Hopeful to forget about them and not become heartbroken when she finds out Mick will never come back. She already knows it's highly unlikely he will show up. Even with the odds not in her favor, a sliver of her still hopes he will show up one day.

To conclude, Natalya Roman is hopelessly in love with a man named Mick Rory. A man that brings danger and excitement into her boring life. A man, that she hopes she will never see again.

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PLEASE EXCUSE/IGNORE ALL SPELLING AND GRAMMAR MISTAKES, THANK YOU!

So sorry for not updating in so long! I really have no excuse besides I haven't had the urge to write the future chapters. Though, I will spoil this mush... The climax is coming soon...

AGAIN, PLEASE EXCUSE/IGNORE ALL SPELLING AND GRAMMAR MISTAKES, THANK YOU!