Regret

Internal Calamity

"What's that on your neck?"

  It'd been bugging him for days, he was no problem-solver and he was not as observant as his brother seemed to be, but surely he wasn't stupid enough to start piecing things together.  "It's the same as Reborn's, and I've never seen either of you part with it."

  Tsunayoshi swallowed. "It's something important to me."

  Who gave it to you? he nearly asked, but the familiarity he'd felt towards his own blood was dwindling. With every passing day, his doppelgänger continued to become a stranger to his own eyes. He couldn't dare ask such as casual question without feeling so intruding.

  There was a faint flicker of orange in his eyes again.

  Deep breath. "How much do you know, about the... mafia stuff?"

  The more an outsider knows, the greater chances they'll die. Ienari sucked in another deep breath as he saw calculating eyes hesitating to answer. He was going to lie, he just had that feeling. This stranger was smooth with his words, nearly confident and charismatic. Natural qualities of a leader were beneath the surface of this frail boy, and a feeling inferiority constantly washed over Ienari in Tsunayoshi's presence.

  "What're you talking about?" he laughed lightly.

  "Are you going to keep playing dumb? It's not working."

  The brief, forced look of surprised dissipated within moments, a frown dawning his face. He swallowed another bout of bottled up anger down his throat. Keeping patience was key, something he indirectly learned from the person in front of him. Keeping secrets was a normalcy to him, he was hiding his supposed bloody heritage from his mother and brother, and in turn, his brother was surely hiding something just as important. It was a fair trade, yet he was irked to no end.

  "I know we're," his voice nearly cracked, why? "both candidates for Vongola Decimo and Reborn is training you. Your newfound friends are your guardians."

  He knew Tsunayoshi knew that, and he was supposed to be relieved that he finally admitted it, but oddly, it irked him further.

  Suddenly, he snapped.

  "And Reborn's always nicer to you. He's not even training you. You have it easy, you know? So many times I've wanted to confide in you or Kaa-san, but I couldn't. You're becoming a stranger to me everyday now, too."
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  Dokuro Chrome was an anomaly, an unknown variable to Ienari. She bore too much of a resemblance to Mukuro, that momentarily, he thought she was his sister, giving him odd vibes. Though, it quickly dissipated as he realized such polar opposites they turned out to be. Her company was appreciated, she seemed to be the only guardian that was completely sane in his rowdy group.

  He found himself occasionally confiding in her.

  "Bossu, I saw someone who looks just like you this morning," she admitted.

  "That's probably my brother," he said nonchalantly, dismissing the topic.

  "You two are really alike, then," she offered lightly.

  Ienari snorted, but allowed her to continue. "You both care for others."

  "He's—" his threat constricted. 

  He hasn't spoken to him in a while. As a matter of fact, he hasn't even seen him in two days, he realized.

  "Bossu, are you okay?"

  "Yeah, I'm... fine."

  "Mukuro-sama told me he's a very strong sky."

  "He can't use his flames," Ienari said, a sudden annoyance washing over him. She looked at him curiously, falling silent in meek agreement. She didn't know enough to conclude anything, wisely, she nodded.
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  Lambo wailed loudly in Gokudera's arms, crying pathetically for his Tsuna-nii. The hot-headed storm was unable to calm the boy down, tempted to smack some sense into him. Instead, he shoved the boy into Yamamoto's arms, who laughed brightly and poorly attempted to get the boy to stop.

  Any games that had to do with balls and Yamamoto equaled a death penalty, Ienari had concluded early on, and had only realized in his absent daze exactly what was about to conspire when he saw the glint in his rain's eyes.

"Hiee! Yamamoto, stop!"

He was far too late as the boy sniffed pathetically, watching in fear as the ball was close to hiding him in the face.

  He'd been pulled to the side last minute, wailing louder in the arms of his beloved Tsuna-nii.

  "Haha, sorry, Lambo. I got a little too into it. Nice save, Tsuna!"

  Ienari sank to his knees, hardly registering what had conspired.

  He was supposed to be the sky encompassing all, he was supposed to be the one protecting them, but he always fell one step behind, and Tsuna was always right there. Gokudera's frantic cries of Jyuudaime, are you okay?! became static to his ears.

  He was failing, he realized dumbly.

  He spared a glance at an eye-sunken Tsuna easily soothing the child, and he himself was on the verge of tears.

Why?
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  "Where is your brother?"

  "I don't know."

  "Find him, we agreed to spar."

  When did that happen?"

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  "It's okay, Lambo, I'm here now."

  "Tsuna-niiiiiii," Lambo sobbed. "I missed you."

  "I missed you too."

  He'd come back to his senses, staring bleakly at his storm and nodded wearily in confirmation. He grabbed his hand, pulling himself up with Gokudera's support.

  Yamamoto offered him a look of concern, but he dismissed the issue lightly with a wave of a hand. He was tired.

  Another look at his brother was only going to make him sick.

  He wonders idly if he'd stolen a moment to look at such exhausted eyes and pale face, would things have possibly changed.