The world across from my fingertips

1

"YOUR JOKING!"

"MUM, YOUR FUCKING JOKING, RIGHT?"

"THIS CANNOT BE TRUE."

"YOUR FUCKING LYING."

"I...It...It's the truth, Katheryn." My mother said as her whole body collapsed onto itself, she sobbed onto her chest unceasingly, her fingers tightly clutching her leather jacket.

***
Two days earlier.

September 3rd, 10:28 pm

They say that the pain dulls in time and that things will get better. But how can things get better when you are gone.

My hands begin to tremble as I bring the glass of red up to my lips and slowly chug. Liquor does not drown out the pain. It may numb your soul and give you a sense of amnesia for a couple of hours but it just eventually catches up on you. However, I still find myself here, with it tightly clenched in my fingers. People would think that I would be happy. I'm only thirty-three and yet I am standing on a balcony overlooking Los Angeles, and own a home somewhere in the millions filled designer homewares which scream expensive. Yet, I am not happy.

It has been fifteen years. Exactly fifteen years. Maisie would have turned fifteen years old today. I miss her. God, I miss her. I can still see her in strangers, and feel her presence whenever I clutch the dozens of photos. I did not even get to say goodbye.

As much as I try to hold it in, the pain comes out like an uproar from my throat in the form of a silent scream. The blue feeling washes in like an unwanted wave. The beads of water started falling down one after another, without a sign of stopping. They splashed down onto the ground in a rain-like pattern and soaked in, leaving a dark coloured stain on the cream coloured pavement. My eyes were burning and my chest felt heavy as if it was filled with bricks. I could no longer see clearly, the droplets slowly taking over my vision. I still could not process that she was gone. Although I was only in her presence for a short amount of time, three months to be exact I could still hear her cries.

The broad-leaved shrubbery gossiped softly in the wind. The brittle cold begins to surround my body making me shiver. Although the wind may blow the leaves away, my sobs still remain. I continue drinking as my body melts, it drains down my body and then lands in a pool in my stomach. I just close my eyes trying to stop the cries which never seem to leave. Then all of a sudden I jump, as I feel a pair of arms snake around me.

"Shhh... it's just me," Orlando whispers as I lean my back on his body and rest my free hand on his.

"I miss her."

A lump forms in my throat as my boyfriend grips my body even tighter and tries his harshest to soothe me. I place my glass down on the outdoor table and turn around until our eyes meet. Soft wisps of his hazel hair swept past an ear and caressed on the skin on the back of his neck, and I swooped my arms around him. Those eyes of his rimmed with dark lashes stared into mine, as I felt my body began to tremble. I just rested my head on his shoulder and felt the pain even more.

We stayed there for a while, the breeze washing against our bodies, as we stood in complete silence. That is all that I need right now. I don't think that any words could make me feel better, or bring her back. I think that Orlando knows that too, as he starts to slowly run his hands down my back.

"I think that I'm going to head to bed," he whispers as he holds both of my hands while sliding himself away.

"Okay," I say while squeezing his hands.

"Are you coming," he asks keeping his eyes on me.

"Yeah," I whisper as I leave the liquor outside and follow Orlando inside. He closes the balcony doors and let's go of my hand and climbs into bed, while I just stand in the middle of the room my mind in a daze.

"Katy?"

"I'm just going to wash my face," I reply, my voice having no light in it whatsoever.

I drag myself into the en-suite and am met with the huge mirror above the vanity. I stare at my reflection and watch the last tear for the night slowly dribble down my cheeks. Although my face is already wet from the endless amount of tears I continue to splash my face with water, in a way hoping that the water will remove the pain which hasn't left my body since her death. I then reach for a towel and slowly pat my face dry before returning to Orlando who looks as though he has already fallen asleep. Without waking him I slide into bed and pull the covers up to my neck and just stare at a picture of Maisie which is place ever so delicately on my bedside table. I get distracted by Orlando who for the second time tonight wraps his muscular arms around my body.

"I love you, Katy," he whispers into my ear making my heart stick a beat.

"I love you too."

We both eventually fall into a slumber and then the sun awakens me. I sluggishly sit up and lean my back against the bed head and soon enough I grab my phone and see a text message from my mother.

Hi, feather, would you and Orlando like to come to our place for the weekend to celebrate the end of your tour?

Instead of texting, I decide to just call and within a ring, she picks up.

"Good morning," she sings

"Morning mum, I just got your text, I figured that I should just call because the last time I sent you a text it took you a week to reply," I joke stating how terrible my mother is with technology.

"Oh Katheryn, I'm not that bad seriously," I can feel her rolling her eyes through the phone.

"I'm very proud that you knew how to answer the phone," I chuckle.

"Keith can you hear this, she doesn't think that I know how to use a phone," my mum yells to my father. "It's true Mary you don't, last time I called it took you five minutes to answer the damn call," I hear my father say as I burst out in laughter in which wakes Orlando who death stares me and tosses over, I mouth 'sorry' and he laughs.

"Good one dad!" I yell so that he can hear through the phone.

"You are both so funny, haha."

"Fine, I'll save the jokes for tonight," I laugh.

"Anyway, are you and Orlando coming?" She asks.

I take the phone away from my ear and tap Orlando, "babe, we're going to go to my parents tonight for the weekend to celebrate that tour is over," I say as he puts the blanket over his head and gives me a thumbs up.

"Yes that sounds great, is the rest of the family coming?"

"Okay great, we are celebrating you so you kind of have to come and yes they are," she says.

"Cool, I'll see you tonight, I'll message you when I'm leaving, oh no wait I should probably message dad instead since he actually knows how to reply," I tease.

"Oh shut it, Katheryn, it was one time, bye!" She then hangs up.

I turn off my phone and place it beside me and move close to Orlando. "How are you feeling?" He asks unburying himself from underneath the blanket.

"Okay, I suppose. This weekend should be a good distraction," I say.

"Yeah, it should help ease your mind."

A/N: so I hope that you liking my new book! I've decided to start a completely new fanfic as I have really missed writing! So please vote and comment!

- sophie