N&S: "Look Back, Look Back at Me", a ficlet by Gratiana Lovelace 8/08/12

"Look back, look back at me." John Thornton's plaintive whisper is heard only by himself and the snowflakes wafting around him.

John watches Margaret Hale's carriage drive out of the Marlborough Mills gate. He knows that he will never see her again.

The cold winter air is crisp and stings his face. Yet he cannot move from the spot, hoping against all hope that she could know the depths of his love for her. But how? With her leaving, his hope ebbs in final resignation of his loss.

Margaret had taught him that he could love-even if John could not be loved by her. To say goodbye to her now is sweet torture. She was his for the briefest of moments as they exchanged words of farewell in his parlor. He welcomed her kind gift of her father's book-it will be a remembrance of her to him as much as it is a remembrance of her father to him.

Why could he not tell her how he felt? This longing for her that she has made in him, he fears, will consume him and consign him to hell without her in his life.

John closes his eyes to calm himself, to steel himself to return to his life of ordinariness without his Margaret. Even now, he hears light footsteps behind him. No doubt his mother wants to urge him to come indoors before he catches cold.

Then Margaret's arms come around from behind John and she wraps him in her love. She embraces him as she has wanted to do for so long, but not dared. "I came back to tell you that I love you." She says simply with her cheek pressed against the broad expanse of his wool covered back. "I could not leave you without telling you." He does not move-too stunned to speak or react.

Margaret pulls back from her embrace, to turn and leave in silent sadness with his lack of response. John spins around quickly, wondering if Margaret is a vision, an illusion-or his only chance for happiness within his grasp. He pulls her to him and searches her face that reveals the honesty of her declaration as she gazes up at him adoringly.

"Margaret, I love you. I cannot bear for you to ever leave me. Will you marry me?" John gazes at her with love and hopefulness. Then Margaret answers his heart with her own. "Yes."

And John and Margaret kiss each other sweetly, tenderly, lovingly, adoringly, and passionately-before walking back inside John's home hand in hand to tell their families of their news.