we're not fated, are we?|tracob

Guess i'm not sober anymore

At a fast pace we walk our way to the bar, although it was my idea to walk back to it, i can't help but feel nervous. I feel my stomach turn in circles as though i've been rolling down a hill for over an hour non-stop.

Weirdly enough on our way there, Jacob doesn't say a single word, i can't help but wonder what's going through his mind. Is he excited? Is he nervous? Is he confused that i decided i wanted to return to the bar? There are even more possible answers to this question, so many answers i'll probably never know because of my large fear; asking.

Seconds after I wonder about his thoughts, we are face to face with a giant doorway that has lights hung above it, which i guess makes it look classy. I suddenly freeze up, i don't know why but i just do. It's as though i cannot move a single bone in my body and i am simply stood there feeling nervous as hell not being able to mumble a word or move a single muscle. Jacob walks through the doorway, turning back around towards me not even seconds in, after he realizes i am in a trance, i cannot move, i am so extremely fearful.

"troye—"

he lightly puts his hand on my arm, trying to gain eye contact with me, it takes me a few minutes until i can fully return to present day.

"hi—sorry what happened?"

"you froze up and stopped walking, is everything alright?"

"yeah of course! don't worry, just a wee bit nervous"

i reassure him with a slight smile, hoping he calms himself down. Jacob may not vocalize that he's stressed, but i can see it from the clenching that goes on with his fist. He may not even realize he's doing it himself, we all have our weird little quirks. I personally will sometimes pinch the peak of my neck, i don't know why but i do.

I take a few deep breaths in and out, until i feel relaxed and ready to walk into the bar. Whatever happens, will happen and nothing will change what goes on, i need to stop fearing things because nothing changes them from happening, no matter what situation i'm in. I remind myself. Then quickly, i walk into the bar, putting on a face that is unlike me, a face of curiosity and a face of enjoyment. Sometimes wearing a mask is fun when it isn't you, who you're playing the part of.

There are so many people in this bar, tall people, short people, average people, there are girls who are wearing overly priced dresses and there are boys wearing barely any clothing covering their skin, there are the people who get drunk insanely it can become out of control and there are the people who are simply there to have a good time with friends, maybe even family.

I am completely out of the zone, when i feel jacob grab my wrist pulling me to a group of people, who i assume are his friends.

The first person i link eyes with is this blonde girl, who has very nice eyes and a nice smile. She seems bubbly and bright, someone who would always be out partying if they could, but they keep a job at a bar instead, to balance their sanity out so they're spending time serving and not always taking shots.

The second person i am greeted with is a boy, he has this smile that seems very friendly and i'm intrigued to meet him personally.

And lastly, there is this girl with brown hair. She seems so lovely and welcoming, but yet i'm getting this vibe she's nervous to meet me and i don't know why.

Before i can think any further about these three new people i've just encountered, Jacob introduces me to them and vice versa.

"Hari this is troye, troye this is Hari"

The blonde girl looks at me with a sweet smile,

"Hello troye, i've been wanting to meet you for a while now! Jacob has told me so much about you, you get scared easily? that's adorable!"