How To Write a Book

Movie Script

SALLY turns to JOSHUA.

SALLY
I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!

SALLY runs away.

She turns back and shouts.

SALLY
I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with knives.JOSHUA
I'm not scared of you.SALLY
You should be.

INT. A SWEET SHOP - LATER THAT DAY

SALLY and ALEX walk around searching for something.

SALLY
I feel sure I left my knives somewhere around here.ALEX
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly knives.SALLY
You know nothing Alex Olsson.ALEX
We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.

Suddenly, JOSHUA appears, holding a pair of knives.

JOSHUA
Looking for something?ALEX
Crikey, Sally, he's got your knives.SALLY
Tell me something I don't already know!ALEX
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.SALLY
I know that already!ALEX
I still wear nappies.JOSHUA
(appalled) Dude!

While JOSHUA is looking at ALEX with disgust, SALLY lunges forward and grabs her deadly knives. He wields them, triumphantly.

SALLY
Prepare to die, you peculiar potato!JOSHUA
No please! All I did was kill a bunch of babies!

ZOE enters, unseen by any of the others.

SALLY
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those babies were defenseless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Sally Sparkle defender of innocent babies.JOSHUA
Don't hurt me! Please!SALLY
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these knives on you right away!JOSHUA
Because Sally, I am your father.

SALLY looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects herself.

SALLY
No you're not!JOSHUA
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.

JOSHUA tries to grab the knives but SALLY dodges out of the way.

SALLY
Who's the daddy now? Huh? Huh?

Unexpectedly, JOSHUA slumps to the ground.

ALEX
Did he just faint?SALLY
I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly knives.

SALLY crouches over JOSHUA's body.

ALEX
Be careful, Sally. It could be a trick.SALLY
No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Joshua Meadows is dead!SALLY
What?SALLY
Yes, it appears that I scared him to death.

ALEX claps his hands.

ALEX
So your knives did save the day, after all.

ZOE steps forward.

ZOE
Is it true? Did you kill the peculiar thug?SALLY
Zoe how long have you been...?

ZOE puts her arm around SALLY.

ZOE
Long enough.SALLY
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Joshua Meadows.ZOE
Then the babies are safe?SALLY
It does seem that way!

A crowd of vulnerable babies enter, looking relived.

ZOE
You are their hero.

The babies bow to SALLY.

SALLY
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Joshua Meadows will never kill babies ever again, is enough for me.ZOE
You are humble as well as brave!

One of the babies passes SALLY a magical necklace

ZOE
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.SALLY
I couldn't possibly.

Pause.

SALLY
Well, if you insist.

SALLY takes the necklace.

SALLY
Thank you.

The babies bow their heads once more, and leave.

SALLY turns to ZOE.

SALLY
Does this mean you want me back?ZOE
Oh, Sally, of course I want you back!

SALLY smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.

SALLY
Well you can't have me.ZOE
WHAT?SALLY
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a thug to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.ZOE
But...SALLY
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, Alex.

ALEX grins.

ZOE
But...ALEX
You heard the lady. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo! ZOE
Sally?SALLY
I'm sorry Zoe, but I think you should skidaddle.

ZOE leaves.

ALEX turns to SALLY.

ALEX
Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?SALLY
Of course you are!

The two walk off arm in arm.

Suddenly ALEX stops.

ALEX
When I said I still wear nappies, you know I was just trying to distract the thug don't you?THE END

As you can tell this was a mixture of many genres.