blackbox | kirishima eijirou

38 | flowerful craters

Sakura lets out a deep breath she didn't know she was holding, crossing her arms on the table and rest her head on it. But then she heard a knock on her left.

She tilted her head a little to see Riku staring at her with a concerned gaze. All she could ever do was nod and smile, giving up on the fact that Riku might have seen through that.

And maybe she was right, after the class went off to the cafeteria for lunch, leaving Riku, Sora, Yui and Sakura to conquer the classroom. The three of them took a chair to seat around her desk while she made no move in her seat, just seating there staring into blank space. It was quiet, except for the lunch noises outside the window. The atmosphere around them felt morose, maybe too dreary, mainly because of the black sheep, and she knows that very well.

"You're not usually like this, you know that right?" Yui started, her voice coming off serene.

"...I know." God, her voice was already that bad? It was like she woke up bellowing non-stop.

"What happened?" Riku gently asked.

She lazily flickered her gaze at him, just staying silent for a while as her mind went blank.

"You can talk to us, Sakura. What's being said here, stays here," Sora, who was always known as an airhead, assured which she finds it glad that this rare side of him exists.

She forced a small smile, but it didn't last as she thought it would. Maybe she was tired after all.

"I don't know guys.." A bitter chuckle left her lips, a bittersweet smile lingering on her lips for a moment. "I woke up feeling like utter shit. The next thing I know I was crying for no reason. Maybe I'm just so sick of being treated like shit but—I don't know.. Maybe it's because I always fuck things up to the point I became like this.. I just—If only I made things right.. then I wouldn't be like this. Then I wouldn't have disappointed my parents whose now treating their own daughter like shit for no fucking reason. Should I be mad or should they? And then there's Eijirou.."

At this point, tears were already streaming down her cheeks and her heart was starting to ache.

"Everything's just so confusing when it comes to him. I don't even know why I'm bringing him into this conversation."

She furiously wiped away the tears, ashamed that this was the first time she broke down in front of the trio. They were close friends since the beginning of the year, and they never knew a single flaw about her. Perhaps she was finally breaking out of her shell, knowingly because she was getting weary of everything.

"It's okay.. Let it all out.." She felt Yui's hand rubbing circles on her back, bringing her chair closer. "We're here.."

As a few minutes passed, the tears seemed to run out, leaving Sakura with the feeling of just the shallowness of the crater in her chest as she rubbed her eyes.

"Sorry you guys had to see that. I've never cried in front of anyone after all. Well, except.. him." I croaked out, letting out a tired sigh.

"Him?" Riku rose an eyebrow.

Another sigh escaped her lips. "Kirishima."

"What about him?" Sora asked.

"I.. I don't know." How many times has she said that? "How it happened.. was when I was having a shitty day as usual.. and then somehow, he saw right through me and dragged me out of the café when I was still working, brought me somewhere and just.. exposed me. How mean."

She lets out a bitter chuckle. "I mean, he's just there.. letting me cry on his shoulder.. and boy.. it just feels so good to cry it all out for once. At least there was someone.. him.. And I.. I felt really glad, you know? A-And the best part was when he continued to be there for me no matter how many times I tried to bottle things up.. S-Shit.. I'm crying again."