unforgettable ✧ smokepump

TEN

besides, i'm not even attracted to gazzy like that anymore, now that cassy is around. she had all the traits i love in gazzy, but she's a girl.

although honestly, it didn't seem like cassy liked me very much. it wasn't like gazzy's playful teasing either, i got the vibe that she legit didn't fuck with me, which was sad, because i was planning on making her scream my name for the entire time she was here.

my plan to use her to get my mind off of gazzy wasn't going to be easy i see.

×××××

i hated working at mcdonalds.

my co workers were annoying as hell, i always came home smelling like fry grease (apparently, according to gazzy.) and being in the kitchen all the time has started to make my skin break out, which is sad because it took me a long time to perfect my skincare routine.

i just fucked up another customer's order   for the 3rd time today, and i almost earned a sweet tea in my face from an angry soccer mom because she claimed i was being rude to her, when really i wasn't, i was just spaced out and not really focused today.

"omar, what's wrong with you?" one of my co workers, michael asked me. "you been out of it all day."

"nothing," i shrugged. "just thinking about things."

"did something happen?" he continued to press, and i lowkey hate when people do that. i know it shows you care, but if i said it's nothing then obviously i don't want to talk about it.

i decided to tell him, although i was vague about it. "okay so... what if you've been told your whole life that a certain thing was bad, but now you think you might like that thing and you're scared because you don't want to like that thing and other people would judge you harshly if you liked that thing?"

"oh i see," michael looked down and bit his nonexistant lip. "so what you're saying is, you're gay?"

why does everybody think i'm gay?

"where did you get gay from that?" i asked, scrunching up my face."no, i'm not gay."

"must be nice to be gay," jared added, walking out of the break room.

"so you're not gay?" michael side eyed jared and shook his head. "interesting."

michael and jared have this weird thing going on where they're basically a couple, but they're both too pussy to make it official so they just make weird jabs and hints at their relationship that isn't even a relationship.

"just because i kissed you once doesn't make me gay," jared shrugged, "i was just sad and i needed affection so i kissed you."

"well does fucking me in the janitor's closet during breaks make you gay?" michael shot back, and i've heard enough.

"t m fucking i!" i exclaimed, covering my ears. "both of y'all niggas is gay, now can y'all take your couple's dispute somewhere else?"

"well you're gay too," jared's sad ass piped up.

and i couldn't even say shit back, because he was probably right.

"jare, um, do you wanna go in the break room and help me find my wallet?" michael spoke up in a soft voice, once again biting his invisible lip. "i can't find it."

and then jared and michael went to the break room to go fuck most likely.

not to be a jared headass, but must be nice.

××××××

after i got home from my shift, i just wanted to go upstairs and sleep, fuck i was tired, and it was mostly due to my thoughts tiring me out. that didn't even make sense, but whatever.

after i got home, i heated myself up some leftovers and walked over to my room and pushed the door open.

i was greeted by gazzy, who had his headphones in and was dancing around in a pair of booty shorts and a t shirt.

he really wasn't making it easy to be straight, god. the things i'd do to him.

"oh, h-h-hey omar," gazzy mumbled awkwardly when he saw me. "i'll leave now, sorry."

"no, stay." i insisted. "if you want i guess, but i wanna ask you something if it's not too personal."

"what is it?" he asked as he plopped down onto my bed and i followed, still eating my leftovers.

"so like... how did your parents react when they found out you were gay? i know this is an awkward ass question but i'm curious."

"well... my dad went through my phone once and he found my social media, and he found out about me being gay from there. after that he uh...he kicked me out and he disowned me and told me never to come back. he said he didn't want a faggot as a son."

gazzy's eyes began to water as he retold the story, and i sat my plate to the side and put my arm around him to comfort him. "baby don't cry."

"my mom is trying to get full custody of cassy too, because she doesn't want us around him at all. he was never really physically abusive but more like...verbally. i never liked him but it still hurts to have one of your parents basically say they don't love you."

i felt for gazzy so much. poor thing's been through a lot, i wish i could just hold him and tell him everything was going to be ok.

"i can relate to having a shitty dad, but i also cant if that makes sense," i replied. "my dad was never around. he was a deadbeat and he never claimed me. apparently i was supposed to be aborted anyway....so yeah, dads ain't shit."

"they really ain't," gazzy agreed.

"when i have kids, i'm not going to be on any of that shit, and i damn sure won't disown them because of who they want to love. i plan on being a loving and active father to my future children."

gazzy smiled at me. "aww, so you do have a heart."

i shoved him playfully. "its just basic human decency not to treat your kids like shit. there's a line between disipline and abuse, and what happened to you was abuse, and i'm so sorry that happened to you."

"the only people that love me are my mom and my sister," he started quietly crying again, "nobody else gives a fuck about me, not even my own father."

"that's not true gazzy. i care about you. i care about you a lot," i said, turning his chin so that we were staring at each other.

"you do? you care about me?"

"yes. i do." i replied, and then i did the thing that i should have done a long ass time ago.

i kissed gazzy.