Agar Tum Saath Ho

Behti Rehti
Nahar Nadiya Si
Teri Duniya Mein
Meri Duniya Hai
Teri Chaahaton Mein
Main Dhal Jaati Hoon
Teri Aadaton Mein
'Gar Tum Saath Ho

She lifts her head from his lap, not quite meeting his eyes. Somehow though she's been privy to his temper and outbursts since the very beginning, has seen accusations and hatred in her eyes aimed at the world and even herself in general she doesn't know how to deal with his hatred aimed at himself. She can't understand how to calm his temper against the rough hand that fate has dealt him, them, this time around.

Yes, he's the one incapacitated but she's just as affected by his plight. Why won't he understand, anything that hurts him, affects him, hurts her and affects her just the same. He's a part of her, he's her other half. Why would he think she must abandon him, how could he think she should leave him?

The anger and hurt still simmer and bubble under her; tears streaming down her eyes and over her face.

Tears he notices and wipes with a gentle hand.

Amidst a blurred vision, she senses him dropping his guard finally as he leans down with tears of own in his eyes; gently cupping her face in his hands as he does so, dropping a kiss on her forehead as he whispers to her, her Raman,

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

"Why do you say such things if they lead to both of us crying and you apologising Raman?"

"Because that's who I am, you know that. I don't have a filter when it comes to you."

"No, you don't." She agrees and watches him wince a little.

"How easy is it for you to ask me to go away again. I suppose it's a habit now with you. Just like it's with me that I tend to stick around though you repeatedly want me to leave whenever things fall apart."

"I cannot watch you suffer because I'm a burden Ishita. This time I wasn't angry on you but at myself."

"Tell me then, will your anger fade away if I leave? Will you stop your own assumptions that let you decide what you're to me or not? Will you be happy if I am away when you have no one else to be around you all the time? Because you do know that everyone else has been keeping a distance from you to avoid your anger issues but I don't know when to quit, isn't it?"

For the first time in his eyes she watches a fear, a fear of falling apart completely as it hits him what she said, what he had said.

She can see the wheels in his mind spinning as he imagines a life without her again, only this time he's stuck in his own body and mind as his limbs fail him and his mind works against him. Knowing it in his heart of hearts without her, he'd be frighteningly alone even amidst family. They'd leave him to his devices, avoid him to not deal with his anger and outbursts & get a caretaker to look after his everyday needs. His parents are too old to look after him now, his siblings have lives of their own. His daughters have their business and studies too to keep them busy. Ruhi and Alu would get married and leave sometime in the future, Pihu's gonna get busier as she goes older and Adi is too young to even comprehend or do anything.

He'd be all alone, a wreck not just in body, but mind, heart and soul as well.

The thought itself scares him so much that he engulfs Ishita in the fiercest hug they've ever shared.