There it is.
The poison.
The anger and the guilt. The hatred.
The despair.
There it is. Here it is.
Here I am, sitting in the dark.
Crying.
Crying until my stomach turns.
Coughing.
Trying to keep it all in.
I want to scream, but can only gag.
I can't breathe.
It's too tight, my skin. Too close in.
I need to breathe.
I need out. Out of here.
Out of me.
No matter how hard I scratch, how deep I cut, all that runs free is blood.
I am still trapped.
Trapped in here. In me.
I hate this, this cage that I am,
The poison that promises freedom, if only I keep scratching, keep cutting, keep bleeding.
But it is a lie.
There is no freedom.
There is only me.
And the poison.
