Total Drama All Stars Re-write

TDAS Re-write episode 13: The Obsta-Kill Kourse

(Confessional: Mal)

Mal: (Laughs evilly, his hair flipped back down) Mike might miss the little brainiac, but as far as I'm concerned? Getting rid of Cameron was like scraping gum off my shoe; a bit sticky, but ooh so satisfying.

(Zoom into Mal's mind; pan over to Mike and Chester both walking along a brain-matter wasteland)

Chester: So... much... walking! Why'd I ever agree to go on a quest? (Stops, looking angered) There better not be any of that rock and/or roll music, or-or dancing where we're going!

???: (Off-screen in a feminine-like voice) Vill you keep it down vith zhe babbling? (Pan over to reveal Svetlana, Mike's Russian Gymnast personality, chained to a large boulder and carving a sculpture of a fish out of what appeared to be butter) He might hear you!

Mike: Svetlana! (Confused) Uh... what are you doing?

Svetlana: Mal told me "sculpting fishies vith butter, or cease to exist."

Mike: Well it's time to cease his existence! Come with us!

Svetlana: (Whispering) Shhh! Stop vith zhe talking! He has zhe ears everyvhere!

(She points up, to reveal several ear shaped clouds hanging above them)

Mike: Ok, that could be a problem.

(Zoom back out to Mal in the confessional)

Mal: Now to deal with my biggest threat, Alejandro. (Chuckles darkly) Oh, he's going to pay for sabotaging my sabotage.

(Confessional ends)

Mal: (Faking worry) I have to tell someone, and you're the only one I trust! I saw Alejandro refuse to help Cam, just before he fell in the mine!

Zoey: (Gasps, and glares) I knew he was a snake! I bet he's the one who tampered with the votes!

Mal: If Gwen hadn't fished Cam out of that river... oh...

Zoey: We just can't trust that guy! (Mal smirks evilly. At that moment Owen steps out of the boys' side of the cabin with wad of gruel in his hand; Zoey notices and smiles) oh, hey Owen.

(Owen is about to wave at Zoey when he sees Mal smirking at him and reacts with fear)

Owen: uh... (Points up in the sky) GREAT CHOCOLATE FONDUE STICKS, FLYING MONKIES!!!! (Jumps over the railing in fear and lands in a bush)

Zoey: (Confused) ooooooh... kay?

(Confessional: Zoey)

Zoey: (Confused) I didn't see any flying monkeys! Although on this island, there might be flying hippos if Chris wants there to be.

(Confessional: Owen)

Owen: (Covered in twigs and leaves) there were no monkeys. I hate staying away from Zoey, but it's not safe with Mal still around. Good thing I've got my little buddy Noah, and my new littler buddy Dawn to save me from losing it. (Ruffles through his hair and pulls out a woodpecker) oh hello there, cute little woodpecker. (The woodpecker goes berserk and flies in Owen's face)

(Confessional ends)

Chris: (Over the loudspeaker) Attention, maggots! Last one to the edge of the woods drops and gives me fifty! Hup! Hup! Hup!

(Zoey calmly walks out of the cabin, while Courtney runs out at full speed, only to accidentally trip and fall onto the ground, next to a depressed looking Scott on the porch holding dirt)

Courtney: Ow! (Notices Scott) What are you doing?

Scott: (Dejected) I'm sad. And when I'm sad, I eat dirt. (Chomps on the dirt, looking sad. Talks to the dirt clump) You'll never cheat on me, will you?