forty-one

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I went to Jace's room then. Alexa decided to stay in the waiting area.

I hated hospitals ever more.

When I got in front of Jace's room, I was literally shaking. I couldn't control my nerves. As I reached for the knob, a lot of things were crossing my mind.

Would I be ready? Would I want to see Jace still closed eyes? Would I touch his cold hands? There's a lot more and I was scared to ever find out if I wanted to.

I thought I  was the one who opened the door, but when I saw that my hand was still an inch or two away to the knob, I looked up and I met Jace's mom's eyes. It was the same like Alexa's.--puffy, red, tired.

I could feel my own eyes stinging. I was about to break. This couldn't be real. I maybe dreaming right now.

"You're not dreaming, Emma,"  she said. Did I voice my thoughts out loud? I think I did. "He's gone."

The pain was piercing deep into my soul.

I clasped my hands together to lessen the shaking of it but I couldn't stop the pain.

"When?" was the only thing that I could make out.

"This  morning. At forty am, the doctors were all over him. He was in deep pain.  By five thiry-eight, the machine dropped to zero and that was it," she told me.

My knees had gone weak. I fell down on the ground instantly. My tears had escaped and there were no way I could stop them.

This was really real.

Jace was gone.

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