To The One I Was Unable To Tell

Untitled Part 1

Hey, I bet you're surprised to hear from me again. Well, there is somethings I wanted to tell you, but I was too chicken to say it. When we first met we were in Fundamental Speech class. I saw you sitting in the middle of the class. At first, I didn't really notice you because I was so shy that I would hardly say anything to anyone. One of the first assignment that our professor gave us was partner up with someone and give a story about them.

I didn't have the courage to go and talk to anyone and you came to me and asked if I wanted to partner up with you I said yes. I learned somethings about you like how you came to Montclair because your parents met here and that you came here to find that special someone here too. I still chuckle a bit thinking that it sounded a bit cheesy, but it was sweet too. I told you how I accidently put my high school trash can on fire and that they have a new safety rule in the chemistry lab because of me. You said to me while laughing, "Now they must have an interesting reason to remember you now." We stayed friends even after that group assignment.

I wonder when our feeling changed for each or that's how we felt from the beginning. One day when we had lunch together in the campus diner. You asked me that day if we can be together as a couple. I froze a bit not knowing what to do, since I never really dated anyone in my entire life. I told this to you and you even joked how we are technically are on a date right now. I just asked if we can just stay friends for now. Even though you said you would you still asked me if I can be your girlfriend. Until the day I one day I decided to cut all my ties.

I never told you this because I am someone who hates to bother anyone with my own problems. I was hurt emotionally a lot by the people who next to me. Whether it was my family, or friends that promised me that we would always stay friends. After being hurt some many times I decided to not love anymore. That's correct I am unable to love anymore even though I enjoy romance books. For me, I think I enjoy watching them from a distant. But, I often wondered when you made my heart feel again.

I'm sorry that I hurt you by doing this. You were my first kiss when you stole it in front of the campus diner. You asked me to close my eyes and I clumsy was telling you that I never kissed before. You were the one I kept thinking of even though it broke my heart to stay away. I always wondered what would happened if I just said yes. You?