Tainted Love One Shots (manxboy)

A Conversation

I relented, thinking it may be a little fun to watch it with Elijah. It wasn't the best movie ever but it was entertaining. I hadn't seen it since I had begun a BDSM relationship with Elijah and it would be interesting to watch it from the perspective I had now.

He turned on the TV and found the movie, turning it on before he pulled me to him again. I snuggled up with him, loving the feeling of his strong body against mine.

Him.

Elijah.

My husband.

________________

It ended up being really fun to watch the movie with Elijah. I definitely didn't agree with some of the things in the movie, but it was a movie—a work of fiction—and not everything could be perfect.

It was getting really late when the movie ended and I could see that Elijah was getting sleepy. Something was on my mind though and I needed to voice it. It was something that had been on my mind sort of ever since he had proposed to me, but I had never talked about it with him.

I looked over at Elijah as he yawned. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and smiled at me.

I decided to just come out with it and blurted, "How do you feel about having kids?"

His eyes widened and he blinked a couple times, obviously surprised by that sudden question.

He took a moment to answer and then said, "Well..." Jeez, that wasn't a good start. "I guess it's something we can talk about."

"But how do you feel?" I asked again, trying to sound a little more confident this time. "You can't just say we can talk about it. I mean, I want to talk about it...but I want to know how you feel."

He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. "I wanted kids when I was young," he started. "But as the years went on, after James...it became less and less appealing." I must have shrunken at those words because he shook me a little and said, "Hey, don't look like that. I may not love the idea of kids, but we can talk about it."

I stuck my lower lip out a little. "What doesn't appeal to you about it? Why don't you want them?"

So far this wasn't going well and I felt my stomach sink.

I had always wanted kids. I wanted to be a father.

When I was still denying to myself that I was gay, I thought that I would have children with a woman. And then when my relationship began with Elijah, it didn't cross my mind for awhile.

In the beginning I wouldn't have even been able to comprehend having kids with him. At the start of our relationship, and I mean the very beginning, Elijah certainly didn't scream Dad Material. I was sure not many people could picture him being a father, along with myself.

But as I fell in love with him and he became a completely different person with me, I could easily see him being a dad. I think he would be a great father. He was caring and gentle, but could be firm when he needed to be. Plus he would spoil the little guy or girl to death.

"Why don't you tell me what appeals to you?" He suggested, turning it back on me.

I pouted more and shrugged. "I want to have a family with you. Isn't that a normal thing to want?"

"We do have a family," he said. "We have Grey—"

"Grey does not count," I quickly interrupted, giving him a glare. Grey was definitely part of the family, of course he was. But a cat was not the same thing as a real life child. I certainly treated Grey like my baby now, but I wanted a bigger family with him and that didn't mean just more cats.