Rules of Introvert.

Befriending an Introvert -pt. 1-

1. Unless something is on fire, don't show up at our home unannounced.

{Most extroverts seem to have no trouble suddenly being "on," and they love — even welcome — an unexpected social surprise. But not so for us introverts. We need time to mentally prepare to see people. And to us, our homes are private spaces where we let down our guard and relax. Do not, I repeat, do not infringe on our sacred space — without getting permission from us in advance.}

2. If it is just supposed to be the two of us, don't invite other people.

{It's hurtful if we feel like we're just another warm body in your entourage. We want to mean something to you, because if we're friends, you mean a lot to us. Due to our limited people energy, we don't let just anybody into our inner circle. As : "Introverts treasure the close relationships they have stretched so much to make."

If you have to invite other people, at least give us a heads up. There's hardly anything worse for introverts than being ambushed by a raucous crowd when they were expecting a quietly intimate chat.}

3. Skip the crowd. Hang out with us either one-on-one or in a small group.

{Want to make an introvert disappear? Put them in a large group of strangers, and they may quietly fade into the background. Pretty soon it's like they're not even there.

But when you get introverts alone, it's a different story. Introverts because when we're talking to just one person, it drastically reduces our stimulation level — we only have to pay attention to the words, body language, and tone of voice of one person. For our minds, which are already quite busy with the internal stimulation that comes standard with being an introvert, paying attention to one person is plenty.

Plus, one-on-one, it's easier to talk about more meaningful topics. Group talk tends to revolve around "safe" topics like what you did this weekend or how the new work project is going. Introverts crave diving deep, sharing big ideas, and talking authentically about things that actually matter.}

4. Give us a tiny moment of real connection over hours of polite chat.

{How are you really? What's actually on your mind? Don't just say it was a good weekend. Tell us about the existential crisis you had over the fact that you're getting older and your life isn't where you thought it would be. We'd rather know what's going on inside you — what's really going on — than just see the polished, "social media friendly" front that you display to everyone else.

Quote; "When an introvert cares about someone, she also wants contact, not so much to keep up with the events of the other person's life, but to keep up with what's inside: the evolution of ideas, values, thoughts, and feelings."}

5. Encourage us to share our thoughts.

{  As an introvert, I'll be the first to admit that I often need encouragement to chime in, especially when I'm with a group of people I don't know well. Often, I won't talk about myself or give my opinion about XYZ unless asked. It's just in my nature to keep my thoughts to myself and only speak if I think I have something of real value to add to the conversation. Honestly, sometimes it just doesn't even dawn on me to say what's running through my mind. Plus, like many introverts, I've been cornered by an overly chatty extrovert countless times, so I'm especially sensitive to dominating the conversation. Don't pry, but do ask how we are or what we think.}