The Perfect Mother

He is so tiny, filling only one arm. Little Boruto bobs his head around, neck unable to support his head's weight. Something about it reminds her of a snake and she giggles. He is pushing his tongue forward and it looks like he is licking the back of his lips before it falls out and open to air. 

The lactation nurse walks in and Hinata feels the weight of the world on her shoulders. What if I can't do this? What if I can't produce enough milk? What if he doesn't latch? How will I know he is getting enough? Is there a way to measure? What if my breast are too big and I smother him? What if...

"He is beautiful Hinata. What is his name?" The nurse strokes the soft, blonde, down like hair of the baby. 

"Bor... Boruto" she says trying to keep her fear from surfacing. 

"Well hello there Boruto." She coos at him "You look like you're hungry." She teases the corner of his mouth with her pinky and he follows, thrusting his tongue. "Do you see what he is doing there? That is called rooting. This is going to help him latch on and drink. Are you ready to try?"

 She nods her head keeping a lid on her internal dialog.  What if I can't? What if it hurts? What if I hate it? Will Naruto be disappointed in me? If I ask her these questions is she going to laugh at me? The lactation specialist walks her through the steps. "You are doing well Hinata. Lift him just like that." and she feels it. The tiniest little pinch on her nipple and his tongue moving against it. Soon a tingling fills her breast for the briefest of moments and she sucks in a breath. "let down can be a bit uncomfortable but it doesn't last long. Some women describe it as pins and needles. Something like when your arm falls asleep. Did that happen yet?" She nods again "Good. Nothing else should bother you. If anything hurts we need to break the suction and try again. That is completely normal." 

"No everything is fine"

"You are doing well Hinata." She smiles knowingly " You know a lot of women are worried about not knowing what the baby is taking in.  Then I have women that are scared that their breast are too small to hold enough milk. While larger breasted women are fearful they will suffocate the child." She looks pointedly in her eyes for a moment before continuing " Some even panic about not being able to breastfeed they are worried their husbands will think them a failure. Not womanly enough. Which is of course ridiculous." 

"Whaa!?" Naruto was at the bedside in an instant "Hinata! What's wrong? Why are you crying?" She hadn't even noticed the warm tears leaking down her cheek. She wipes them away but more replaces them. 

"Hinata" The nurse uses a soft and soothing voice "No matter how long you choose to breastfeed, years, months, weeks, days, or even if this is the one and only time, you are still a success as a mother. Breastfeeding is hard and it only works if it is right for BOTH mother and child. I hope you continue because it is an incredible experience and a fantastic way to bond but it isn't the only way."

"I... I'm scared but I want to continue" She whispers "Will you help me?"

"Of course but you need to understand the perfect mother is one that loves her child."

Hinata smiles down at her now dozing baby "Then I am the perfect mother"