Nothing [Harry Styles AU] - DISCONTINUED

twenty three

I continued to push my way through the group, my breathing labored, and my mouth inhaling a large gasp once I managed to free myself from the crowd. I had survived making my way from one side of the crowd to the other, and still with no sign of her. I cursed under my breathe, perhaps Louis hadn't seen her. He was drunk of course, maybe the girl he saw just looked like her.

A few other people were mingling around the outskirts of the dance floor, seated on the couches in the corners of the room. Some were standing around the tables with their drinks in their hands, laughing happily with their friends. My eyes continued to scan the hazy room, until I noticed a head of blonde, quiffed hair, Eve's friend Niall.

Niall was standing at a table, a bright, orange drink in his hand as he was chatting up some girl next to him. My eyes next glanced to a couple on the couch, a girl sat perched on some guys lap, his arm on her waist and her fingers tangled in his hair. I contemplated walking over and talking to Niall, if he was here, and if Louis had assumingly seen her, then Eve must be here somewhere.

I felt as though my heart had been ripped in two, a physical pain erupting inside me that I have never felt before. The girl on that guys lap turned around, her face illuminating under the blinding glow of the coloured party lights. Her smile was wide, a toothy grin spread across her face as she yelled at Niall from where she was situated, snuggling further into the guy that she was sitting on top of.

Eve. It was Eve.

My chest was heaving by now, raspy breathes emitting from my throat at the sight of her with someone else. Anger was seeping through the boiling blood in my veins, my hands involuntarily clenching into fists when her hand rose to cradle his cheek, her face ducking forward and lips pressing wildly onto his. I started to stomp towards them, ready to pull her off the boy and to punch the life out of him. She was mine for fucks sake.

But my feet froze after a few steps, the sudden realization hitting me hard in gut – She wasn't mine, Eve wasn't mine.

I cowered back a few steps, turning abruptly around and heading back to the bar. I gulped down a double vodka, and then another one, until my throat was numb and the burning alcohol in my stomach was faltering against the tormenting pain that was shredding apart my insides. I felt like I couldn't breathe, like the air that filled my lungs was weighed down by a heavy substance, causing me to pant and gasp for breath. My head was running wild, a thousand and one questions running through my mind.

What had I done to her to deserve this?

I gulped down another shot, the anger in me simmering down until I started to feel numb all over. I squeezed my eyes shut, desperate to get out of this state and to feel something, anything at all. Before Eve, I would feel like this on a weekly basis, sleeping with whichever girl I managed to get into my bed that night. But ever since I kissed Eve, I hadn't felt that way for a long time. I shook my head frantically, shaking my arms out then pressing my palms to my face.

She didn't care about me, she didn't care about us at all.

I could feel it swarming under my skin, a cold, achy feeling settling in my veins, even though the air around me was so heavy and hot. I couldn't let myself feel like this again, I promised myself that I wouldn't go back to the way I was. I was doing so well.

I was doing well because of Eve.

My hands fumbled in my pockets, grabbing my wallet and phone and placing them on the bar in front of me. Throwing a $20 bill on the counter, I picked up my phone and scrolled through my contacts until her name came up. I stumbled back through the crowd to the exit, my head hung low and my destination in clear sight on the other side of the room.