Total Drama All Stars Re-write

TDAS Re-write episode 3: Saving Private Leechball

Heather: yeah, because 18 coats of hairspray an hour are NEVER enough for that pile of turd you call hair!

Anne Maria: hey! Don't gimme lip just because I got the goods, while Blondie over there's all dull and lifeless, and YOU'VE got nothing but those pony-haired plugs!

Heather: hey!! These EXTENSIONS are HUMAN HAIR!!!

Gwen: (Groans) It's everyone's fault for not working together as a team! Now cram it, (Throws a pillow to her ears) I am trying to sleep!

(Confessional: Anne Maria)

Anne Maria: yeesh, what's Pasty's problem?

(Confessional: Gwen)

Gwen: (Gasps) Did that sound villainous? I-I didn't mean to be harsh, but, ooh, bunking with the Bickersons is driving me bonkers!

Noah: (From outside) nice alliteration there, Gwen. You're a real Edgar Allen Gothball! (Snickers, but Gwen raises her boot and fiercely kicks into the confessional wall) OW!!! WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE EYE?!!?

Gwen: (Snickers) ok, that WAS mean, but it had to be done.

(Confessional: Noah)

Noah: (Holding an icepack to his right eye) do they just PLAN which eye to aim for? (Sighs) man I miss being on a team with Owen, at least HE laughs at my witty humor!

(Confessional ends)

(Pan over to the spa hotel, on one of the balconies, an owl is hooting loudly)

Butler: (Approaches owl) Shhhh, sir. (The owl stops hooting)

(Inside the spa hotel bedroom, Sierra tucks her phone into her bed)

Sierra: (Cooing) There you go, Cody-bear! All tucked in! Today was a great day, I made some new friends, and I helped win our first challenge! Aw, he'd be so proud! Sweet dreams! (She kisses the phone, kneeling on the bed, she then trots over to the edge of the bed like a cat, kneads the mattress and curls up.)

Courtney: (Groans) Weirdo.

(Cut to the boys' room in the spa hotel, Mike jumps into a bed, relaxing)

Mike: (Yawns) oh yeah, this is the life!

Cameron: (In the bed next to Mike's) Yeah, but I feel a little guilty looking at Owen and Brick's empty beds.

(The Camera pans over to two empty beds, one has a duffle bag on it, the other looks rather lumpy)

Mike: (Gets up, notices Owen's mattress) huh, that's weird, Owen's mattress looks a little lumpy. (Presses down on the bed, hearing a crinkle sound) What the? (Pulls back blanket, revealing a huge pile of junk food) whoa! THIS must be the legendary junk food stash!

Cameron: wow, that pile must have every artery-clogging, teeth-rotting food known to human kind! You don't suppose he would notice if we had ONE mallomar, do you?