part 7 - last rituals

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Silence. Mami's cries were the only sound in the house. The women were washing nani's body slowly trying to hold back their cries. They were all wearing white sarees. They washed the body with the mixture of milk, yoghurt, ghee and honey. For khushi it felt as if a part if her heart died together with nani. She looked at her face, but there was no emotion. They could never hear nor see her laugh again. Tears were flowing down on khushi's cheeks. She whipped them away and continued washing her. After the bath, they dressed her in a white dress just the way the tradition wants it.

Before the cremation they held a brief wake in the living room. Around the body were all the family members sitting there. They all recite mantras together for nani. Khushi was sitting next to arnav. She looked at him continueing the mantras. Arnav just looked at her body and cried for himself. Khushi knew how he felt in that moment. She layed her hand on his and layed her head on his shoulder. But arnav didn't look at her, he was still looking at nani..

After the brief wake all the men were ready for the cremation. Mama, Arnav, Akash and NK held the casket on each side and walked out of the house. The women looked at them and started crying hard. Mami hugged khushi and let go of her feelings. They never thought that this day will come that fast, but humans die one day.

The men placed the casket over the pyre. Mama started walking three times around the pyre and sprinkling holy water on the pyre. He was still crying and looked at the pyre. After the rounds were done the pandit told mama to set the pyre on fire.

„Arnav bitwa, akash bitwa, nandkishore..idhar ah." sais mama slowly.

The three brothers walked to him and looked at him not knowing what to do.

„One of your nani's last wishes was that you all should set her pyre on fire when she dies."

They all looked down and tried to hold back their feelings. Mama set the pyre on fire, together with his nephews. Arnav's tears were flowing down his cheeks as he looked at the fire. All men stayed there till the body was burnt.

HOME

The men returned home and they all went to their rooms. Arnav entered his room and saw khushi giving arun his mothermilk. He looked at her for a second and then took the towel and entered the washroom to take a shower. Khushi knew that he didn't want to talk right now. She just continued giving arun his milk. When arnav came out of the washroom he saw that khushi layed his shirt and socks on the bed. He dried his hair and tried to close the buttons of his shirt. But he couldn't, he didn't knew why. But khushi did. He was thinking about nani, all the time. Khushi looked at him and saw that he got angry with himself and wanted to take off the shirt but she stopped him.

Khushi started closing the buttons of his shirt without even looking at him. But arnav couldn't take his eyes off her. He was proud to have khushi as his wife. She just knew what to do, everytime no matter what. When the buttons were closed khushi sathim on the bed and wanted to wear him the socks but arnav stopped her holding her hand.

„It's okey..you don't have to do that." said arnav.

Khushi just looked at him with tearful eyes. She cupped his face and kissed his cheek.

„I'm proud of you arnav ji.." she whispered and layed her forehead on his.

Arnav closed his eyes and tried to hold back his tears. Khushi felt that and looked at him.

„Arnav ji, don't try to hold your tears. It'll just make you more depressed. Just cry arnav ji. I'm feeling the same.." said khushi and started crying.

Arnav opened his eyes and started crying too. He hugged her tight and cried even harder. Khushi never saw him in that state. She just hugged him back and tried to calm him down. After some time arnav layed his head on khushi's lap and she ran her fingers in his hair. He cried in her arms for a long time, now he's tired. He closed his eyes and hugged her belly hiding his face in it.

Khushi felt the same as him. Nani was the first woman in the raizada family that loved and respected her the most. Even if she was angry with her at sometimes, now before she died, she knew why khushi ran away from home. A tear fell on arnav's cheek and he looked up to her. He sat up and saw that khushi now needed a shoulder to cry on. Arnav just pulled her to him and hugged her tight.

„Let it all out." said arnav with a broken voice.

Khushi cried too just like he did some houres ago. Suddenly there was a knock on their door. Khushi let go of him and he stood up to open the door.

It was muskaan and ayaan, they were at bhuaji's house till now.

„Dad are you okey?" asked ayaan.

„Mommy!" said muskaan and jumped on their bed.

„Muskaan be careful!" said khushi and hugged her tight.

„Mommywhy di you and daddy cry? And why is everybody downstairs crying? Did something bad happen?"

Khushi looked at arnav, she didn't know how to tell her.

„Dad."

Arnav looked at his son.

„I really miss her dad..nani was like a best friend to me. To all of us." said ayaan with tears in his eyes.

„I know, i know ayaan. But we will all.."

„What happened to nani?" asked muskaan worried.

„She's an angel now." said khushi sadly.

„An angel? Wow! Can i see her?"

„No you can't, because right now she's with god." said khushi.

„Ohh..daddy i remember! The game you told us haina?"asked muskaan.

„Haan.." said arnav and sat on his bed too with ayaan.

„Now you have to behave even better, because now nani is with god. And if you gyus do something wrong then it'll get awkward for nani upthere haina?" asked arnav.

„Haan." said muskaan and looked up.

„Don't worry nani! It'll never get awkward for you, i promise! But she should come back soon!"

Arnav and khushi looked at eachother and had tears in their eyes. Muskaan saw that and cupped arnav's face.

„Daddy..won't nani come again?"

Arnav took her hands and kissed them.

„No muskaan, she will nevee come back again. She's on a better place now." said arnav and a tear fell on his cheek.

Muskaan kissed his cheek right there were the tears was and smiled.

„Don't worry, be happy."

Arnav smiled at his littke daughter and hugged her tight. That was the first time since 2 days that khushi saw him smile again.

I'm really sorry if i wrote something wrong about the last rituals of the funeral in hinduism. I'm muslim that's why i don't know how it exactly works. But just feel free to comment❤️ and to be honest guys i really cried writing this chapter! I mean nani was such a postive and kind character..and now she's an angel...😇

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