Monster

Lose You.

"Baba I know, usay koi masla nahi hai,  everything's fine, I want you here, I'm sure he'll also insist you to stay here, also he might also like you to stay with us baba. Main apko nahi janay doongi." I explained and the surrounding us went quite when we hear a loud scream.

Shehryaar's scream.

Me and baba rushed to the room he was in and within a few seconds we were there.

Shehryaar was there lying hard on floor, blood oozing out of his forehead and his expressions told he was in so pain.

I was busy noticing when I saw baba was there beside him helping him get up and I was still standing at the door.

I went in too and helped him get up too. We made him sit on the bed and he winced hard.

"Ahhh this pain is unbearable." he screamed and yelled while I hurriedly picked up a small towel and put it on his forehead to stop the blood coming out.

When I suddenly I was left shocked when Shehryaar jerked away my hand which caused me drop the towel at his unexpected reaction.

"Shehryaar, blood, khoon, please karne do." I pleaded and picked up the towel and again pressed it again his forehead.

Baba was noticing everything but didn't say anything.

"Sorry." a whisper left Shehryaar's mouth and I gulped.

"Sorry I didn't... I didn't mean it." he added and baba patted his shoulder.

"Saba?" Shehryaar called me and I startled.

"Sorry?" he said again as I didn't showed any kind of response before.

"It's.. It's okay." I barely spoke and continued pressing.

"It hurts." Shehryaar said again and baba got up.

"I'm calling for a doctor." and left the room.

"It hurts Saba." he said, his breathing started to get heavy. I sat down where baba was sitting before, right beside him, still pressing onto it stopping the blood.

He leaned on my shoulder the very next moment and I felt wetness.

"...but not more than I hurt you." Shehryaar spoke lowly and took in a sharp breath.

"Yeh saza mil rahi hai na mujhe?" he asked, shifting his head, leaning more closer.

"Nah-" I tried to say something but he cut me off.

"Mujhe pata hai. This is my punishment, for every thing I did. Every time I hurt you, for the time when ammi was hurt when... when she came to know about us." he said and I remained quite.

"Did I ever tell you ammi wanted me to divorce you." he said and then lightly chuckled.

"I'm such a beast. A monster. Who does that to his own mother and wife?" he said and tears formed in my eyes and my vision started to blur.

"Kuch kaho gi nahi?" he asked.

"Nahi." I spoke in a moment.

"Kyun nahi, you have every right to shout at me, to blame me, to slap me so hard. Why not?" he asked.

"Because... you, you realised." I said and he got up lightly pushed my arm away from his forehead.

"I'll do it." he said and I nodded. After a few silent moments he spoke again.

"You know what realisation is?" he asked.

"It's when you not only feel guilty for what you did but also when you try your best to get everything better. You forgive yourself and let others forgive you too. Don't you think the same?" he said and shook my head.

"Realisation doesn't always turn good Shehryaar. It takes time to settle. Other's forgive it's just you yourself who's not ready to accept any accepted apologies. It's the person itself who don't let himself forgive himself, the matter of ego, your brain and heart." I spoke lightly and then raised my hands to cup his face.

He closed his eyes sinking into the touch and pain but opened soon.

"I know you realised, I know you're trying, I know what every possible thing you're trying to do to get everything to place. I'm a witness Shehryaar, I know." I added.

He pressed his lips and tears again formed in his eyes.

"Now tell me what were you doing? What on earth were you even thinking?" I asked in a strict tone which made him chuckle but soon enough that chuckle was replaced with a wince.

"Ahh... Isn't it obvious?" he asked removing his hand from his forehead with the towel. The blood had stopped oozing out.

"It stopped?" he spoke looking down at the thing in his hand and I nodded and he sighed in relief.

I stood up and made him stand too giving him full support, he winced standing up but took hold of me from my waist and I made him walk to the closest side of the bed and made him lie down.

I was about get up and go check baba, and ask about the doctor. When he held my hand and quietly shook ho head closing his eyes.

I sat down and looked at him to speak first.

"I saw ammi." Shehryaar spoke in a breath and I took in a deep breath.

"She was happy but she not with me. She was happy without me and unhappy whenever I tried to come near her. She was laughing whole heartedly with you and dad in her sides but her laughter vanished when she saw me and turned away. Unho ne mujhay maaf nahi kiya Saba." he said looking at me intently, I was quietly listening to him.

"Tumne kaha tha keh baqi log maaf kar dete hain, ammi ne to mujhe maaf nahi kiya Saba, main kahan jaon, main kiya karun? Mere pas to kuch bhi nahi bacha." he spoke in a shaky tone and a lone tear escaped his eyes.

There was a sudden knock in the door which startled us both breaking the moment we were sinking in.

"Doctor will he here soon, just five minutes." it was baba, he said and left soon.

"Saba?" he spoke lightly and called me.

"Hmm."

"I don't want to lose you. I fear to lose you. But at the same time I feel like I'm no one to you, you don't... you don't deserve me. You don't have to live with me." with that he said, he started taking deep breaths, his eyes fluttering shut with weakness and ge slowly started to lean towards the bed more.

"Shehryaar?"

"Shehryaaaaar? Kiya hua?" he weakly took my hand in his hand and shut his eyes.

I panicked seeing him like this, and rubbed his hand.

No response!

"Shehryyyy"

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Next chapter might be the last or the second last one, I want to give my best in it so it might make time.

Please give some reviews this time, response is my motivation, no response, no motivation... and no motivation results in no new updates. Then you guys yourself DM me or PM me for new updates. Just saying "please update" won't work. Sorry for this, I don't mean to offend anyone, but this usually results in me thinking I didn't do justice with your expectations.

Anyways maybe I'll see you all now in the the last chapter of Monster.
*this breaks my heart in so many ways🙇🏻*