Secrets ☆completed☆

Part thirty six- Daisy

It had been five weeks since I'd called things off with Marshall and despite me asking him not to, he called and messaged me daily, but I didn't read them or answer the phone. The temptation was strong but we had to have a clean break and I was trying to be confident that he'd move on soon enough. 
I was currently in the worst mood ever trolling Oxford street not enjoying clothes shopping at all. I tried on dress after dress for our engagement party but my bloody breasts had grown and I looked ridiculous in everything.
The past few weeks I'd been in denial although after Detroit I'd stopped taking my birth control pill all together. 

Didn't seem to be much point now that it was all over with him and I wondered if subliminally I thought it might harm my baby because I had to be pregnant.
This was the first week I'd actually not thrown up from dusk to dawn.

I hadn't seen a Doctor or even taken a test but my breasts were still sore and growing at an alarming rate,  I can't tell you the feeling of getting home and taking my now too small bra off, it was absolute heaven and my moods were all over the place, crying hysterically one minute, laughing hard the next and the ultimate sign in my mind was my recently developed love of chocolate covered in tomato sauce.

I huffed at that why couldn't I have a decent bloody craving. It was well over 14 weeks ago that I missed those pills and didn't read the rest of that packet which also advised to use condoms for seven days after, luckily my stomach looked flat ish still, although my arse was definitely looking bigger.

My current plan which changed on a day to day basis, mood dependant was to keep quiet about it until I could no longer deny it.

I thought of Marshall and how angry he'd be at me, tears stung my eyes at the thought of hurting him and my hand rested on my belly, I felt an overwhelming need to protect this baby at all costs. Protect his children no matter what.

Rohan was just as miserable as me and it wasn't much consolation to either of us, Marcus had disappeared and he couldn't track him down at all. Outwardly we projected a young couple in love, inwardly and alone at my cottage we spent the nights crying in one another's arms

My father was full of joy at our impending nuptials and had already remarked that he'd love to have a grandson as soon as possible, well he might just get that but it wouldn't be Rohan's child that's for certain.

My phone started ringing and pulling it out of my bag I saw my father's number and instead of not answering it like I wanted to I pressed the green button and said hello “Daisy, I need to see you soon, go over a few things for the engagement party, can you let Montgomery know so he can come as well!” he's sounding like a happy father, it throws me off momentarily he's been super friendly and acting like a good father for the first time in his life recently and I had been sucked in briefly. 

“I’ll call him and let him know, is the end of the week ok for you, say Friday?” I ask, I've got to see a doctor at some point this week and hopefully before visiting him Friday.

“Yes that'll do nicely, shall we say three o clock" I agree and hang up, I honestly can't deal with much more, I want to call Marshall but that would just be cruel of me, how can he get over us if I keep calling him and leaning on him.

The message alert sounds on my phone, I look at the screen and see Hailie's face, I open her text and it just says that they all miss me and hope that I'm doing alright! I don't reply, I harden my heart and walk on until I finally reach my car, get in and cry unable to move for an hour.

I look through my phone looking for any surgery or doctor outside of London that I can try and get to, I can't see the family doctor because he wouldn't  respect the Hippocratic oath. As soon as I left his surgery he would be on the phone to my father, I find a couple in Surrey and ring them, the first one allows me to come for an emergency appointment, I'll have to wait when I get there for an opening but I don't care I just need to know my baby is ok. It's also Friday morning but hopefully I won't be late for the Earl.