B.F.F. (frerard)

Chapter 1

"Seriously, Frank, does your shower even work?" I asked.

"My landlord is working on it," he said.

"Where have you been showering?" I asked.

"Sink shower," Frank said with a shrug and I looked at him in confusion. "You know, just wash my hair, under the pits and under the balls."

"You're disgusting," I said.

"You're the one who wants to marry me," he stated.

"Not like that, just to get a baby," I said.

"It can't be that hard to get a kid, girls get accidentally knocked up all the time," he said.

"Getting a baby as a guy is a little bit harder," I said. "Not like I could go to the bar and just sleep with some random guy and get pregnant and get my baby."

"I can't marry you, Gerard" he denied.

"What do I have to do to get you to marry me?" I asked.

"Gerard, you're ridiculous," he said. "Are you drunk or something?"

"No," I denied. "Just listen, it will be fine, okay? We'll just get married and I can get my baby and then we can get a divorce."

"It won't be as easy as you're making it sound," he said. "It's lots of paperwork and adoption is expensive--"

"I'm paying all that, you don't have to do anything besides being legally married to me," I said.

"Gay couples can't even adopt children, it's illegal," he said.

"They can in New Jersey," I said. "There are non-discrimination policies in New Jersey."

"Gerard, come on, you cannot be serious," he said. "Just try again--"

"I have," I interrupted. "I have tried to do that, I have written letters, I have glowing recommendations. They don't like to adopt out to single parents."

I looked down, my eyes watering.

"Gerard, come on, it's gonna be okay," he said. "It'll be fine. You'll meet someone that you'll fall in love with and be able to marry for real, and you're gonna have a child with her or adopt one with him."

"I-I don't want to wait any longer," I whimpered. "You know I've always wanted a child and I'm turning thirty soon, I don't want to wait, I want to be able to have a baby. I want to raise them and teach them to walk and talk and I want to hear their first words and listen to their little laughs."

"And you will get that soon but in the meantime you can babysit you're beautiful little newborn niece," he said.

"I want my own baby, not a niece," I said.

I sniffled quietly, my eyes watering.

"Gerard, it's okay," he said. "Come on, I'll order you a pizza."

"With extra cheese and pepperoni," I said.

"Are you serious?" He asked. "You're gonna make me buy two pizzas?"

"You won't marry me," I said.

Frank sighed, grabbing his phone before walking to the other room. I turned on the tv, pouting unhappily. There was some commercial about a happy family and I quickly changed the channel. Frank came back with a small smile, sitting beside me.

"Come on, Gerard, it's gonna be fine," he said. "You'll get a baby sooner than you might think."

"You know I don't do well when it comes to relationships," I said. "How am I supposed to get a baby without a relationship? I'm shit at them."

"People just aren't used to you," he said. "You're weird, people just need to get used to your weirdness."

"But they don't and my relationships always end," I said. "I just want a child. Remember when I used to always make you play with baby dolls with me even though you hated it?"

Frank snorted. "Yeah, I remember. And I know you've always wanted to be a dad but I can't just marry you. There's so many appointments and meetings and checks."

"We'll pass, we know everything about each other so it's not like they wouldn't believe we're in love," I said. "And I have a stable job which is good and you're unemployed so it'll be seen as good because you can stay home with the baby."

"I'm not unemployed," Frank denied. "I make music."

"If you can call it that," I teased.

Frank scowled and hit me in the head with a pillow.

"I'm serious, it would be perfect, you know I love you," I said.

"Yeah, platonically," He said. "We can't pretend to be in love romantically."

"We just have to hold hands and occasionally kiss each other on the cheek or something," I said.

"And get legally bound to each other," he said.

"We're each other's emergency contacts  anyways, what's the big deal to just be legally bound? We're already pretty much bound," I said.

"You're crazy," he said.

"I'm not," I denied. "I'm serious, Frank, we could do this and I could be happy."

"What about my happiness?" He asked.

"You'll be happy for helping out your bestest friend in the whole wide world," I said.

Frank looked at me and rolled his eyes.

"You're so fucking ridiculous," he said but he laughed softly.

"What about you, Mr. Living Alone Until I Die?" I asked.

"I just don't feel the need to date anyone," he said. "What of it?"

"Maybe you'd actually really like to have a baby and you can start settling down for yourself," I said.

"I don't want to settle down," he said. "You know families have never really been my thing. Settling down isn't my thing."

"Don't know until you try it," I said with a shrug.

"You say that about ice cream flavors, not whether or not to have a child," he stated. "Gerard, you really need to think this shit over because this is serious, a baby is serious."

"You know I've always wanted a baby," I said. "I've thought about this for years already."

"Yeah, I know you have and I know that you really want a baby and you'll get that opportunity, you just have to wait a bit,' he said.

"I am almost thirty, my clock is running out," I said.

"You're thirty, not fifty," he said.

"Okay but even if I were to meet someone within the next few years we'd date for a few years and then get married and wait another year or two before even trying for kids," I said. "And by then I could be forty and after forty the sperm quality begins to decline and it'll be less likely for me to be able to conceive."

"Jesus Christ, you've really thought about this?" Frank muttered and I nodded. "Fine then, Gerard, I guess I'll marry you."