Golden Child Imagines

3 • How Can I Say (10k 🎉)

I blink for a moment, getting out of my swirling thoughts and look down at a smiling you, cozily holding onto my arm and leaning on me. I laugh softly. "Did I really? That C cup was gorgeous, though."

You slap my arm playfully. "Sungyoonie-ah."

"I'm just kidding," I force a smile, looking around the mall. "Hey, Y/N, wanna go grab some lunch?"

"Sure! Your treat?"

I look back at you staring back at me. I look at my reflection in your eyes. I can clearly see how different my eyes were from yours and I'm not bothered by it. "Of course." I kiss your forehead, lingering for a second, and then let go, just as how I always did. But it felt different, no, there was no feeling at all.

You kiss my cheek in return and grin once again. "Love you, Sungyoonie-ah."

Dread starts to fill inside me when I heard the word: love. Should I say it back? Just out of respect? Of course you're expecting an answer, but I couldn't just blurt it out or I'll be lying to you, and to myself.

I look at the ground, mulling over it. After a second of thinking I reply, "I love you too, Y/N."

I have never felt so sad saying that sentence to you.

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I gaze at how you are so bubbly as the waiter places down the food on our table, almost junping out of your seat when he leaves our table after finishing arranging the number of dishes served on the table. I would've taken a picture if I was still in love with you, and I would've chuckled at how dorky you acted.

"I missed eating in this restaurant," you remark, scanning all the food in front of you as if you were lovestruck.

I smile wickedly. "It looks like you love the food more than you love me."

"I can't help it, the food served here are delicious," you sigh.

"Not as delicious as me," I retort and you widen your eyes, a cute blush forming on your cheeks. But it all feels different now - I didn't feel flustered around you anymore, and I didn't adore how cute and beautiful you look right now. It's just not the same anymore.

"Sungyoonie-ah!" you whisper yell, a faint smile on your lips.

"I'll stop," I laugh first and glance at all the food we've ordered. Every time we come here, we always order the same thing. It became a sort of tradition, since this order was our order when qe had our first date in the same restaurant. I reflect again on those memories where I was still so fond of you - still is now, but, in a different way as you are fond of me still - and wonder how did this happen.

The food didn't look appetizing to me anymore.

Silence falls between the two of us.

I guess I need to tell you sooner or later, or it will hurt more on your part.

I heave a breath first before I start. "Listen, Y/N, I---"

You hold your hand up, pausing me. "Save me the drama, Sungyoon. I think I know what you're going to say."

My eyes widen, my eyebrows crease. "You...do?"

You purse your lips, looking far beyond the window, and when I noticed that tears are brimming your eyes you look up to the ceiling to hinder them from falling. You look back at me, and smile. "You don't love me anymore, right?"

My mouth parts. You really do know. "...but how?"

You fiddle with the straw in your drink. You didn't make eye contact with me. "It's just that I've noticed it for a while now...how you feel so far yet near, how you've been indifferent, and sometimes it feels like you're forced to be with me, you know?"

"...." I didn't had anything to say, all the things you said were dead on.

"For how long, I didn't know. But one thing I'm sure for is that, you don't treat me the same way you did in the past, and it feels off." You finally look me in the eyes and smile. But this time it's empty and forced. "But I-I think I'm fine, I just don't know how I'll move on from this relationship and---"

"Y/N," I call you as soon as I see the tears fall. "I didn't ask you to break up with me just yet."

You look up at me, those round eyes staring at me with sadness and defeat. "You won't?"

"At least, not now." I hug you to reassure you one last time. "I'm willing to try once more."

You lean on my shoulders, and I see you close your eyes as you exhale deeply. "Thanks, Sungyoonie. And...I still love you, okay? No matter what happens."

I hesitate for a while, I didn't know what to say to you anymore. And so instead I kiss your forehead. "You know I can't say it back right now, right?"

"I know," you sigh. "But for the last time, can you say it? For me?"

"...I love you too, Y/N."

My eyes widen when you hurriedly grab my chin and peck my lips. You quickly wipe away the tears resting on your cheeks and sit up straight, replacing the pout you had before with a grin. "Now let's eat, shall we?"

I nod, still shocked from how sudden you kissed me. I return the smile back. "Yes, let's eat."

My heart has already left you. I want to love you but I can't anymore. How can I say that?

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AHHH ITS FINALLY DONE YEAH I KNOW THIS SUCKS

and my promise when i hit the 10k mark is a FACE REVEAL OMG HAHAHA

AND YEAHH THAT'S ME IM UGLY OKAY :<

thanks a bunch for 10k reads seriously 💓

also support golcha on their comeback! (their new album is entitled 'WISH' and the title song is 'Genie'!)