butterflies and heart achs

chapter 1

Butterflies and heartaches

By

Forgotten love

Every time I see him I don't know what happens to me it feels like I cant breath.. Or more like I forget how to breath..... I want to tell him so many things that I never ever dare to speak when I try.... I open my mouth and nothing that I wanted to say ever comes out I want to tell him "I love you, I care about what you think." or maybe just "I know what its like to want something you cant have......

But im getting ahead of myself my name is Ashley and im 17 years old I have long blond hair and bright green eyes. I met josh awhile ago almost 3 years ago this upcoming month.

Josh is 18 he has jet black hair piercing blue eyes that any girl would kill to look into. A lip piercing and a few tattoos. Im 5'0 and hes almost 6'0 im not so smart while he gets straight a's. im in my opinion ugly while he looks like a god. Not to ripped but not weak either. Every girl drools all over him even when we walk down the street... that is until they see me... then they just give the "I cant believe he would even want you anywhere near him" look.

In truth im just the friend. Just the one to hang out with never the one to "GO" out with. But I guess its for the best I mean I always feel so....ugly when the other girls are all over him with there perfect hair , make-up , clothes, nails...and so on. Its been like this since we met back when I was 14 and he was 17. His best friend of 6 years hates me because I hang out with him more....we tried to go out once and she made him choose....and guess who he choose yep you thought right her. I told him I was fine I told him im not hurt.........but I was.

so far I don't know what to do. he said maybe when things blow over we could go out.... Any one catch the keyword MAYBE. (yeah that's just what I need to wait around for some guy).