Devoid

I

"We feign opulence just to get by. Put on false confidence just to feel alive."

Kat hums along to the music flowing into her ears through the thin wires of her headphones, her right hand moving across the sheet of paper in front of her absentmindedly as she adds the finishing touches to her latest sketch.

With a few more quick swipes of the pencil, adding the last 2 strokes needed to make the portrait more realistic, the young artist places her drawing equipment down on the desk, smiling at the face that seems to have come to life on the paper.

It's the face of an elderly woman, her shaded eyes seemingly tired yet they still somehow manage to beam with joy, complimenting the warm smile Kat has captured perfectly. A few strands of hair hang over the woman's face, while the rest is tucked behind her ears only to drape over her shoulders.

As the song ends, another begins to play from her phone.

"Go row the boat to safer grounds. But don't you know? We're stronger now."

Kat recognises the song as Running With The Wolves, and proceeds to murmur the lyrics along to the familiar voice of AURORA. She remembers the first time she'd heard this song. She had been with her cousin at the time, and the two of them were just goofing around, enjoying their youth. What started out as them listening to their favourite songs on YouTube ended with them just letting whatever showed up on the sidebar play. This song just so happened to be one of them, and Kat just fell in love with the beautiful lyrics and the soft voice of the singer.

Although her music is playing loudly in her ears, it isn't loud enough to block out the noises of the world around her, so when the sound of knuckles against wood cuts through the air, Kat presses pause immediately.

"Come in," she calls, watching as the door opens, revealing it to be her father who had knocked. He smiles at her, and she mirrors the gesture.

"Whatcha doing, kiddo?" he asks, taking a step into the room.

Kat removes her headphones, shifting her body to give her father a better view of the portrait she had just completed. "Just sketching."

Her father nods, admiring the elderly woman's drawn on features. He places his hand on his daughter's shoulder, his eyes still locked on the paper. "She'd be proud of you, y'know. They both would."

Kat smiles again, but this time the smile is directed at the floor. It isn't a happy smile, however. No, this is the sad smile of a young girl mourning the loss of her mother, who still tries to stay strong for her father.

"I miss her," she whispers, a sigh leaving her lips as the smile falls. Her father mimics the sigh, kneeling down to meet her eyes. His own grey ones are the definition of broken. She knows he is hurting but is trying not to let his only child see his pain.

"I know. So do I, Baby. So do I," he mutters, pulling her into the embracement of a hug. She buries her face into the crook of his neck, closing her eyes. The warmth of her father's body makes her feel safe, but she knows that like all good things, it will soon have to come to an end.

And it does.

Her father pulls back after a few shortly-lived moments, and sends Kat another one of his famous 'we'll be okay' smiles that always seem to fix everything.

As he turns to walk away, a lyric from one of Kat's favourite songs comes to mind.

"And now I'm covered in the colours, pulled apart at the seams."

"Hey, Dad?"

Her father turns to face her once again, his lips curved upwards. "Yeah?"

The teenager thinks for a moment, unsure of how to word her thoughts out loud. "Uh... What's it like to, y'know- I mean, ah..." Her father once again takes a step forward towards her.

"What is it?" he questions, his voice filled with a mixture of concern and curiosity. He leans down again and places his left hand on her knee.

Kat thinks for a moment, before meeting her father's gaze. "What's it like to... to see colours...?" she finally manages to ask. "I mean, what are they like? Are they pretty? Do they even exist?"

Her father is taken aback by the question, and his eyes widen ever so slightly, but he soon chuckles. "Oh, trust me, they're real. And I guess you could call them pretty. I don't know. It all just depends on what you qualify as pretty."

The young girl thinks for a moment again. "Well, what do you qualify as pretty?"

A smile finds its way to her father's lips yet again as he places a gentle kiss on her forehead, standing up. "I qualify you and your mother as astoundingly pretty."

Kat smiles in return. "Do you think I'll ever see colours?"

Her father chuckles once again. "Who's to say you won't?"

"When will I see them?"

"Get some sleep, Kat."

"I'm not tired."

"Well, get into bed at least."

The young girl smiles at her father. "Goodnight," she murmurs, and he leans down to give her a final hug and kiss on the forehead, murmuring a soft 'goodnight' in return before standing and leaving the room, closing the door behind him.

Kat presses play on her music and turns her attention back to her drawing. She picks her pencil up once more and places it to the paper, signing the portrait with 'K. Loman'.

With that done, she stands, but due to having being sat down since starting the drawing 4 hours ago and only having stood once to use the bathroom, her legs are numb, and she almost topples onto the ground. Fortunately, she manages to grab onto the desk and regain her balance before that happens.

She quickly changes from the outfit she wore today into some comfortable jogger pants and a loose T-shirt before climbing into bed. The music is still playing in her ears, but it's a different song now. She plugs her charger into her phone before closing her eyes.

"And when I get the feeling, I let the damn walls break, let the damn walls break down."

She is soon pulled into the dark abyss of sleep and is welcomed to dreamland.

~~~~~~~

Hey! I actually started writing this book back in 2018, but just stumbled across it and decided to publish it. Some feedback would be greatly appreciated!