Mrs. Independent

Prologue: One Year and One Month Ago

Prologue: One Year and One Month Ago

My eyes wander rest on the PowerPoint board as I go through the next edition of Perfectly You.
I have been feeling horrible the past couple of days and I'm convinced I'm getting sick. My stomach has been upset, I've been getting headaches, and I'm just tired.
My husband's mother told me that she thinks the reason I haven't been feeling well is because I need to drink more water.
What does water have to do with it?
Stressed, I look at the magazine on the board with a room full of my writers and editors. Isabelle is my most trusted employee by far. She was at my wedding.
"This-" I cut off, every pair of eyes on me, and then I feel it.
Bile crawling it's way out of my body.
"Excuse me." I say calmly.
I hand the overhead remote to Isabelle and calmly walk to the bathroom.
The moment the door shuts behind me, I run to the toilet and make it just in time for everything in my body to spew out of my mouth.
And it just keeps coming and doesn't stop until after I've dry heaved.
Then I realize that my husband and I have dinner plans.
So I can't go home, take a tums, and force him to watch Netflix with me.
I force back a groan and flush the toilet, resting my palms on the cool sink. I shut my eyes and stand there for a moment.
I never throw up. I haven't thrown up in over six years.
I rinse my mouth out with water, fix my hair, and walk out of the bathroom.
Everyone is patiently waiting for me.
"This looks good." I say. "Go ahead and send it out and follow normal protocol." I say.
Everyone stands up, talking amongst themselves. The elevator opens and closes a few times and everyone takes it back to their work floors, leaving me along with Isabelle on the meeting floor.
"Are you okay?" She asks.
"No. I feel like I've been hit by a bus. Can you just, call my doctor?"
"Respectfully, I don't think that's your problem."
I look at her.
"What?"
"You're nauseous, tired, getting headaches..." she trails off.
"Yeah?" I ask, sitting down in one of the chairs.
"I just, could you be pregnant?"
Could you be pregnant?
My mind drifts back to two months ago. Josh and I were watching America's Funniest Home Videos and a baby was on the screen laughing, and he said he wanted a baby and I did too, and then we just, as a spur of the moment, had sex without protection. The next morning we agreed it was probably too soon and we would go back to using protection.
And then I was busy with work and so was he, so we just forgot about it.
But now, as I stand in front of Isabelle, I realize that I haven't had my period in two months.
And I just vomited.
The memories of my pregnancy with the baby I aborted flashes through my mind and I realize I have the same symptoms.
"Oh dear God, I'm pregnant."
"Do you want me to call your husband?"
What? No. No, don't call him. I need you to go to the store and get some tests, uh, you have kids, right?"
She nods.
"Yeah, so just get what you took with them."
I hand her my credit card.
"Okay."
She hits the button for the elevator.
"Oh, and Isabelle?" I ask.
"Yes?" She looks at me.
"Not a word to anybody, okay? Keep the bag hidden in your purse or something."

______

Three pregnancy tests sit on the bathroom counter of my work.
After I peed on them, I made Isabelle come into the room with me.
It's not weird for us. She's been my assistant for years and she traveled the world with me while I expanded the business. We always shared a suite and there was only one bathroom, so while she was in the shower I came in to brush my teeth and vice versa.
I consider her a friend.
"Staring at them doesn't help." She says.
"I know, but I can't look away."
She shrugs and comes to stand beside me, and we both stare at the sink.
I start picking at my nail polish.
My phone ringing breaks the silence and I grab it, hitting answering to tell whoever is calling that I'll call them back.
"Hello?" I ask.
"Hey." It's Josh. "How are you? I know you haven't been feeling well lately and if you're feeling sick and want me to cancel plans, that's perfectly fine."
"Oh no, I'll be fine." I say. "Can I call you later? I'm, uh, working."
He's quiet for a moment.
"Yeah that's fine. What time are you coming home?"
"I'll leave around fiveish." I say.
"Sweetheart, our plans are at six."
I sigh, rubbing my forehead.
"Alright, fourish."
"Okay."
"Okay, love you."
"Love you too, bye."
My eyes flick down to the tests as I open my mouth to say bye, and I see two pink lines.
I shriek and hang up on Josh.
"Shit Izz, what do I do?"
She laughs.
"That's only one of the three. Just-"
The digital one has the timer disappear, and then it says Pregnant 3+
And the one of the far right shows a pink plus sign.
Yeah, there's no denying it.
I'm pregnant.

______

Isabelle and I just kind of sat in my office after that and I was anxiously clicking my pen.
I want kids. I always have.
And last time I got pregnant, keeping the baby wasn't even a possibility.
But now it's real and I know we'll keep it.
"Maybe you should go home." Isabelle says finally. "Go tell Josh."
She's right. I know I need to tell him.
It's nearing four anyways.
Deciding that going home is the best option, I stand up, shoving all three tests in my purse.
"I'll see you tomorrow."
"Okay."
I take the elevator down, wave to reception, and walk to my car.
As I start the drive home, I just feel confused.
Aren't I supposed to be like, jumping with joy?
Right now I don't feel anything.
It just feels like it's not real.
I drive over state lines into Connecticut, taking the fastest route home.
When I pull into the driveway, my anxiety spikes.
Josh is already home.
I shut off the engine, take a deep breath, and make my way into the house.
My heels make too much noise as I go to the kitchen, trying to find a way to tell Josh.
I lean against the counter, trying to come up with something.
Bun in the oven.
Yeah, that'll work.
I grab a bun from the cabinet and set it in the stove.
I put my phone on video and set it up on the counter to record the whole thing, and then I walk out of the room.
"Babe?!" I call.
There's a pause, and then I hear footsteps coming down the hall from the study, and Josh comes walking up to me.
He's still dressed from work wearing a light green button down and dress slacks that make his butt look fabulous.
I accept his kiss and then point towards the kitchen.
"There's a weird smell coming from the oven. Did you turn it on?"
His eyebrows raise.
"No." He says, already walking past me to the kitchen.
Telling him is starting to make it feel real, and my phone records both of us as Josh rips open the oven.
"There's bread in here." He says, pulling out the hamburger bun.
"Yeah."
"Well I didn't put it there." He says.
"What kind of bread is it?"
"A bun." He shrugs. "Why did you put a bun in the oven?"
I grin.
"Why did you put a bun in the oven?" I repeat.
"I didn't."
"Yes you did."
"No I didn't."
"Yes you did."
"Katherine, no I didn't."
"Joshua, yes you did."
He looks adorably confused and I start laughing.
"Think baby, think."
He rubs his forehead.
"I didn't put a bun in the oven."
"Okay, maybe not that oven."
"We only have one oven!" He exclaims.
"Honey, listen." I say, and I'm grinning and he's smiling because he's confused. "You didn't put a bun in that oven," I point to our oven, "but you put a bun in another oven."
He rubs his forehead and starts to shake his head, and then his eyes get wide and his head snaps in my direction.
"I put the bun in you!" He exclaims.
I feel my eyes well with tears and I start nodding.
"Yeah."
"We're having a baby!?"
"We're having a baby." I repeat.

_____

This made me so happy
Keep in mind this is the prologue
~Sam