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✰ AS A YOUNGLING, I have always asked myself, 'do you know what the fifth letter of failure was? In which my subconscious answered, 'u.' It was a pun that became intentional, but turned out to be true in a way. That one day began once I started feeling alone. I had created a barrier for myself and kept away from the outside world, holding on for so long, I started feeling like my body was trapped; locked up in a state of unconsciousness, while the mind itself tends to wander.
Hidden deep within the pit of the humanized mind, you are not only being clouded by one-but many of the two options. Wanting to kill yourself and drown in the submerged depths of darkness we call our lives. Or jump off a cliff, finally free of problems, but to crash into the mistake that was made during that time span. And not only could I take this pain anymore, but my mind kept buzzing. Hands twitching, close to pulling out the ends of my hair, and my heart continuously racing at ninety-beats per second.
"This,"
I paused, gripping my head in between my hands, "this wasn't suppose to happen." Chuckling half - heartily, the tears welling up in my eyes, rolling down my rosy cheeks, and looked down at the wincing body on the floor before me; blood gushing out the fresh wounds, and face covered in splatters of blood. The painful cries and screams heard all around me, fingers pointing in my direction,
I could not react the way they wanted me to too, but just stand there; flabbergasted, numb, and confused. As for the the roaring epidemic of police sirens that echoed, the heavy footsteps matching the thumping of my heart, and leaves crunching. My breathing started changing its own tempo; knees buckling and on the verge to just run and not look back.
"I...I couldn't havekilledhim. It wasn't my intention! And besides, he's the one-"
But, that was just a misconception and the wrath of metals being tied together; locking my wrists in place, fuzzy mind taking control of the hippocampus of my brain, silencing me and my voice. No one seemed convinced, and continued throwing insults as I was lead down to the police car. the crowd had already separated, shaking their heads at my bloody form in shame and disgust.
"my dear son, you are under arrest for assault and attempted murder."
