a lion among wolves, bucky barnes (hiatus)

twenty-seven

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK
2015

"UNLESS you're thinking of a more fun way to welcome me back," Bucky whispered, lifting his eyebrows, "get off."

June felt color rush to her cheeks, then watched it stain her hands, because she lifted her fist and pummeled Bucky in the nose as hard as she could.

He yelped in surprise and in pain, but June still clawed at him, feeling fury unlike anything she'd ever experienced before swell in her like a boiling tsunami. She beat his chest and shoulders and torso—any part of him she could reach. Regaining some alertness, Bucky grabbed June's arms and wrestled her away with considerable difficulty. She realized suddenly that her cheeks were damp, her palms slick with Bucky's blood. He climbed hastily to his feet, pulling June with him, his blue eyes wide, mouth and nose pooling with red. Bucky opened his lips to speak, but June cut his voice down like it was a wind-blown sapling.

"Kak ty smeyesh' tak govorit'!" she hissed, enraged. "Kak ty smeyesh' tak vozvrashchat'sya!" How dare you say that! How dare you come back like this! June did not realize she was speaking Russian until the words fled her lips. Bucky seemed alarmed. He was very still for a very long time. Then—

"Ya nadeyalsya, chto vy budete schastliveye uvidet' menya." I hoped you'd be happier to see me.

June's nostrils flared. "Pochemu ty ne sdelal to, chto obeshchal? Ya poprosil tebya ostat'sya so Stivom!" Why didn't you do what you promised? I asked you to stay with Steve!

"Vy tol'ko prosili menya ostat'sya na tri dnya—"
You only asked me to stay for three days—

"No vy ne." But you didn't.

Bucky's shoulders slumped as June's cold tone left the air tense. He lifted a hand tentatively, as if to touch her cheek, but gave up and rubbed the back of his neck instead. June felt her fists curl at her sides, rage filling her when she realized how much she missed his affection. "Ya skuchal po tebe," she murmured tightly. "Ya sil'no skuchal po tebe. No ya popytalsya dvigat'sya dal'she. Mne pora nauchit'sya dvigat'sya mimo veshchey. I eto vklyuchayet vas."

I did miss you. I missed you so much. But I tried to move on. It was time for me to learn how to move past things. Including you.

Bucky's face went slack, his eyebrows furrowing. "Kakiye?" What?

"Ya dumal, ty nikogda ne vernesh'sya. Ya dumal, chto bol'she ne uvizhu tebya—chto ya dolzhen byl delat'?" I thought you were never coming back. I thought I'd never see you again—what was I supposed to do?

Bucky's eyes became pleading, as if he were struggling to find the right words and could only beg her through expression to understand. June held her ground, determined not to be swayed by the panicked innocence that gripped his features. Bucky remained motionless for over a minute, before croaking, "Takim obrazom, vy nichego ne chuvstvuyete?" So, you feel nothing?

June folded her arms tight around herself. "Ya chuvstvuyu vse eto." I feel it all.

"I ya? Vy otkazalis' ot menya?" And me? Have you given up on me?

June's eyes filled again with tears—desperate, angry tears. He was going to force her to admit it. Admit the biggest, most shameful secret she had. The one she'd admitted to Steve after their embrace (which she had yet to reveal) that left her feeling guilty and foolish. June released a breath through her teeth. "Konechno net." Of course not.

Relief flashed across Bucky's face. His fists uncurled and some sadness fled his features. A half-smile lightened his eyes. "Can we speak in English now?"