While It Lasted

Dear My Secret Crush,

I don't even know why I'm writing this letter. For all I know, you'll never read it. But even so, I desperately need an outlet for my emotions. Emotions that are threatening to explode, possibly any second now. So if this letter looks hastily written, it pretty much was. I need to write this now, or never.

So, where do I start? From the beginning, of course.

Let's just say, I never anticipated for anyone to be able to help me, much less you. I was a broken soul, drowning in my own thoughts when I first moved to your school. Foolish, stubborn me was adamant on keeping my head down low in the wave of angsty teenagers and the sea of drama.

But keeping my head low only meant that I was going to be swept away by the current.

And that was what led me to you.

You were like a lifeboat, right smack in the middle of a whirlpool. My initial instincts were to save my life, but I was just so done with everything. I didn't have any motivation to haul myself into the safety of your presence.

So you had to be the one to take action, and do it for me.

I've heard it all before: the fantasies of soulmates finding one another, falling in love, and living happily ever after. The key word is "fantasies". But you already understood what I was trying to say, didn't you? After all, people don't call you smart for no reason.

It was true, I'd have to say. You were one of the most brilliant and talented boys in the entire school. You were able to answer the most intricate math problems in a heartbeat, and play the quick-tempo songs by memory on a guitar. Any person with a brain can figure out that you were the ideal image of a boyfriend that everyone wanted.

The day that I met you, was the day that you saved me. It was a Thursday afternoon, and I was staying after school for the teacher to have a word with me. I already knew that I was failing English, and that I was going to be placed in tutoring. But what I didn't expect, was to be looking forward to stay after school again after that day.

I only improved in writing essays because of you. You tutored me after school every day. Your glistening gray eyes were strikingly bright against your midnight black hero hair. You were simply just too good for a loser like me.

I remember that we spent hours that Thursday reviewing my notes and writing techniques. I also remember keeping those papers and pencils I used that day.

The rest is history. We're still friends, up to this day, but you have a girlfriend now, and you don't like me the way I like you.

I guess I'll just appreciate what did happen, while it lasted.

Love,
Me.