from me to you #ToAllTheBoysContest

from me to you

To the boy who has my heart, I'm sorry you'll never get a chance to see this, but it's for the best. I've always had trouble talking to you, and I'm sure you know that by now. I was never able to say this to your face, I never felt like I could, which is why this is so easy for me to write. I remember the day I first saw you. I also remember how scared I was that I'd cross pass with a guy I was avoiding. You were new to the school whereas I should've been to a different school, but ultimately decided to stay. Maybe I was meant to meet you, and maybe I was meant to meet you for the sole reason to open my eyes and see all the possibilities waiting for me to grab them. I didn't know that then. 

You threw me off when you walked into our homeroom that first day of school. I. WAS. NOT. EXPECTING. YOU. It honestly had nothing to do with your face (although I can definitely throw a good argument about just how beautiful your face really is), you caught my attention by the way you walked into the room. All that time I spent preparing myself for some irrelevant person, when I should have prepared for you. I tried to get over you, I did, but I couldn't. It didn't feel right to lead someone on, when I know I'd spend my time with them thinking about you. You should feel special. 

I got it wrong that day I tried to talk to you; I knew that right after you left. I also got it wrong when I avoided you for weeks. I especially got it wrong when I decided to let my friends be our only method of communication. I should have just walked up to you and said "Hi. I think you pretty freaking cool and I like your face. You are the only person at this school to stand out the way you do and I think we'd be awesome together." But it's been a few months since I've seen your face, and although I can find you, I can't do it. You were (and questionably, still are) my downfall: the one who managed to get me all crazy over your freaking hair. No matter how hard I try, I can't hold no bad blood towards you. Thank you for not calling the authorities on my for how much I've disrupted your peace. 

Signed, Michelle